I’ve noticed that if I say “I won’t do this anymore at all”, it doesn’t work. But if I say “I’ll only spend this much this month on sex workers, gambling, etc.” I’m able to mellow down. I’ve also noticed some people suggest that moderation doesn’t work and you should try to be as cold turkey as possible.

  • Randomgal@lemmy.ca
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    3 hours ago

    It depends on the person and life situation.

    Some people have better self control than others.

    If you have a chill and safe life it’s much easier to use for fun rather than compulsively.

    Etx

  • meyotch@slrpnk.net
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    7 hours ago

    If a person can moderate, I would call it a bad habit and not an addiction. To me, the inability to moderate is what makes it an addiction in the first place.

  • Sanguine@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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    6 hours ago

    The issue with moderation is how it requires a rational actor to, well, moderate use or a behavior. At some point during a persons “addiction” the ability to execute control over those behaviors lessens until it eventually breaks. The time table on this varries and for some they may be able to stick to whatever rules they set, however if you ask anyone whose been in this position they would tell you how often their thoughts / emotions were consumed by a phenomenon called craving.

    Everything everyone said about each person being different is valid, but by and large, the best way to minimize negative impacts of whatever “addiction” we are talking about (process or substance) is to cease completely.

  • southsamurai@sh.itjust.works
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    5 hours ago

    If you can moderate, it isn’t really an addiction. At least, not by the strict definition. If you use it more colloquially, sure.

    But addiction is a compulsion that is acceded to, despite consequences, by the more common usage of the word. If you can resist the compulsion, then it hasn’t reached that level yet.

    I mean, a lot of this kind of discussion depends on exactly how someone defines a term, right? Addiction has multiple usages, so there’s no single answer.

    I’d say a good frame of reference would be that there’s a difference between dependency and addiction, with addiction being more defined by a lack of ability to resist compulsion. Dependence would be more along the lines of having the compulsion at all, be it to an external chemical or an internal factor. It kinda rolls together the more clinical definition with the looser versions.

    Now, me? I’ve been full on addicted to nicotine by any usage of the term. Cold turkey wasn’t possible. Moderation was only possible short term. But, I’ve taken opiates off and on for years without developing a dependence at all, though that’s partially because I hate the damn things and only take them when my pain levels are out of control. Yay chronic pain?

  • stinky@redlemmy.com
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    6 hours ago

    Harm Reduction Therapy models allow for using/drinking. I attended a SMART Recovery meeting once, it was good, there’s a ton of research in this area. Look for a SMART meeting near you, it’s fascinating. And secular!

  • scarabic@lemmy.world
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    4 hours ago

    Interesting. I found the opposite. I was never very good at moderating.

    Smoking was my addiction. Complete cold turkey removes the question from the table. It might suck, but at least you aren’t in a constant battle with yourself over whether you can have a cigarette now, or should wait. Is one more too many? Am I no longer smoking moderately but addictively? I found it was way too easy to slide down the slope on all that. Getting through the day without smoking meant holding fast 1000 times, and relapsing just meant giving in once. I could always talk myself into why a cigarette was okay this time, why I deserved it, how I’d been doing so well…

    Cold turkey just shut all that off and I could move forward. Eventually, when I was truly and finally free of the addiction, and was capable of choosing if I wanted to smoke or not, of course I didn’t want to. It has no benefits other than serving an addiction. I never smoke anymore.

    Do what works for you. Just make sure it is actually working and not just giving you the illusion of that.

    The reason complete cold turkey doesn’t work for some people is that it’s too overwhelming. You get scared by the idea of never having your fix again ever for the rest of your life. That’s so scary and overwhelming that you run back and have a total relapse.

    This is why AA has the motto “one day at a time.” If you’ve ever seen that bumper sticker, that’s what it is. They say to just focus on getting through today. Don’t think of it as forever. At the same time, they don’t like moderate, continuing use. So AA basically is cold turkey, but they have an answer to the issue of it being overwhelming. After all they are right. All you ever have to face is today. Tomorrow is a tomorrow problem.

  • zxqwas@lemmy.world
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    4 hours ago

    If you can keep it at what you consider an acceptable level then it’s fine.

    In my case I tend to go from keeping an acceptable level for a few weeks, then one becomes two that becomes three and then I’m back at the original unacceptable level.

  • RedditIsDeddit@lemmy.world
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    9 hours ago

    what you’re talking about is the nuances that make us all different individuals not everything is going to work for everybody every time

  • Pronell@lemmy.world
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    8 hours ago

    What works for you, works for you.

    It may be possible to slowly wean yourself off of these behaviors that are worrying you. If it’s down to once a month, there isn’t as much of a jump to zero times a month, but maybe sometime. And then once it’s been a year, congratulate yourself for that and keep going.

    Habits are hard to break and much easier to fall into. But if you are more conscious of these decisions, it all becomes a little bit easier with time.

    That kind of mindfulness is a skill that is hard to develop, but your post leads me to think you’re already on your way.

  • Krudler@lemmy.world
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    7 hours ago

    It does for many people, because we as humans are continually in a dance between our conscious and subconscious minds.

    Your subconscious mind is trying to protect you and trying to help you manage your emotions through those behaviors.

    Your conscious mind is seeing a problem with those behaviors and you want to change.

    Your subconscious mind freaks out and it clings harder to the things you’re trying to walk away from, when it fears that you will lose them and correspondingly, It’s ability to manage your feelings through these behaviors.

    So in the short term, it can help a lot to tell yourself that you do not need to stop, while you gradually worry about reducing.

    But in the longer term, it would be advantageous to you to seek counseling. There is an emotional component that is at play in every unwanted behavior, every addiction. The actual addictive act is almost irrelevant. For example a drinking problem has almost nothing to do with alcohol.

  • rumschlumpel@feddit.org
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    9 hours ago

    I think that depends a lot on the specific addictions and which circumstances make you want to give into it more. e.g. physical addictions like to highly addictive drugs are typically harder to moderate that non-physical addictions.