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The Picard Maneuver@lemmy.worldM to Lemmy Shitpost@lemmy.world · 6 hours ago

He's an arborist

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He's an arborist

lemmy.world

The Picard Maneuver@lemmy.worldM to Lemmy Shitpost@lemmy.world · 6 hours ago
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  • Lectral@lemmy.ca
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    2 hours ago

    What if there’s a … um … protuberance on the bottom where the branch meets the trunk? What’s the correct measuring procedure in that case?

  • Kenny2999@lemmy.world
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    2 hours ago

    I would use 0,5x(A+B) because chicks dig a big branch.

  • socsa@piefed.social
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    2 hours ago

    I just ask OP’s mom.

  • white_nrdy@programming.dev
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    2 hours ago

    https://youtu.be/QlafXouh_rg

    • SCmSTR@lemmy.blahaj.zone
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      2 hours ago

      4.1 inches is 10.4cm

      5.1 inches is 13cm

      7 inches is 17.8cm

  • Red_October@piefed.world
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    5 hours ago

    The only way to get an accurate measurement is to cut the branch off first.

    • Elgenzay@lemmy.ml
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      4 hours ago

      It is imperative that the cylinder and the larger object remain unharmed.

    • Fortatech@gregtech.eu
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      5 hours ago

      The cylindet MUST stay intact!

    • Klear@piefed.world
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      5 hours ago

      But you’re supposed to measure it twice before that!

      • Sunshine@reddthat.com
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        4 hours ago

        I just had some serious flashbacks to all the fucking Handy Manny I’ve watched. Thanks for that. 👍🏻

      • Valmond@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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        4 hours ago

        One each side I guess?

    • Zwiebel@feddit.org
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      5 hours ago

      The branch cannot be cut.

      • SirIglooi@sh.itjust.works
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        4 hours ago

        The branch is ~4.5" in girth and attempting to cut it off could cause discomfort

    • JasonDJ@lemmy.zip
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      5 hours ago

      🎵Detachable tree branch🎵

  • Old Sage Rick@lemmy.zip
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    5 hours ago

    Method A on account that that would be the maximum usable length

    • potoooooooo 🥔@lemmy.world
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      3 hours ago

    • Toaster@lemmy.world
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      5 hours ago

      As a skilled carpenter who’s used to measuring wood, this is the only answer.

      • TranscendentalEmpire@lemmy.today
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        5 hours ago

        Well… It kinda depends. If I were to be ordering stock to recreate the branch or even if I were making a covering for the branch. I’d have to order at least 6 inches of material to cut down.

        So I think it matters most how you are intending to use it.

      • FinjaminPoach@lemmy.world
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        4 hours ago

        Oh you’re a skilled carpenter? How much wood have you cut in your time

        • Tess@piefed.blahaj.zone
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          4 hours ago

          Half as much as they have measured, is my guess.

          • FinjaminPoach@lemmy.world
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            3 hours ago

            THIS ia getting philosophical… i mean, first of all, things don’t need to be cut perfectly in half every time they’re cut.

            But then your answer is probably an estimate/approximation.

            HOWEVER… when you cut one piece of wood into two, is not 100% of the wood cut into?

            So either this carpenter measures 50% of his wood aimlessly, or you, sir, are a LIAR

            • tryitout@infosec.pub
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              2 hours ago

              I believe they were alluding to “measure twice, cut once”

            • numerator3962@fedinsfw.app
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              3 hours ago

              Measure twice, cut once

    • undefinedValue@programming.dev
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      4 hours ago

      That’s not how it works with soft bodies though, method B represents potential useable length when pointing down. It’s only distorted because it’s pointing up. For rigid bodies, I’d agree.

      • Valmond@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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        4 hours ago

        So… Non rigid?

  • PeriodicallyPedantic@lemmy.ca
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    3 hours ago

    Personally I start measuring from the middle of my taint 😌

    • Skeezix@lemmy.world
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      2 hours ago

      Since the internet began it’s been known that you always measure asshole to tip.

      • Rajtinka@lemmy.world
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        1 hour ago

        Literally how every guy on Grindr measures…

    • bold_omi@lemmy.today
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      3 hours ago

      That’s a shoddy way of doing it. There are measurement standards.

  • flamingo_pinyata@sopuli.xyz
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    6 hours ago

    Branches and other small cylinders can be sized using M&M tubes

    • thesohoriots@lemmy.world
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      5 hours ago

      Banana for scale

  • KapmK@piefed.social
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    5 hours ago

    The generally accepted method used by scientists is to firmly push your ruler against the base of tree at the top of the branch. This is called BPEL, or bark-pressed erect length.

    • Triumph@fedia.io
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      5 hours ago

      Hehe hehe erect

  • Soulphite@reddthat.com
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    5 hours ago

    If you trim the bushes the branch looks bigger. Pro tip.

  • Smuuthbrane@sh.itjust.works
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    5 hours ago

    I can’t use method B, the tree fruit are in the way.

  • Olgratin_Magmatoe@slrpnk.net
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    5 hours ago

    What if there is a knot at the base of the branch?

    • troybot@piefed.social
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      2 hours ago

      Burl wood can be quite valuable so you should try to keep that part in one piece

    • OwOarchist@pawb.social
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      4 hours ago

      Then you might be measuring a werewolf. Seek professional help.

      (I am a professional and can help you measure the knot.)

      • Olgratin_Magmatoe@slrpnk.net
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        4 hours ago

        ;)

  • krisevol@lemmus.org
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    4 hours ago

    None of them are. You need a graduated cylinder.

    482 cm3 here.

  • VaalaVasaVarde@sopuli.xyz
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    3 hours ago

    They are using the wrong measuring unit, instead they should measure the force needed to pull it level.

    • potoooooooo 🥔@lemmy.world
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      3 hours ago

      You’re saying rigidity/turgidity trump sheer length and girth?

      • VaalaVasaVarde@sopuli.xyz
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        2 hours ago

        Most arborists prefer branches that can handle the load, and avoid sagging branches or ones that snap off.

  • YaDownWitCPP@lemmy.world
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    This can be easily calculated by the formula [(length x diameter) + (Weight / Girth)] / Angle of Tip^2

    • yermaw@sh.itjust.works
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      39 minutes ago

      This is the way. You have to account for the yaw of the shaft

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