I find that treating shitty people kindly just lets them know they can continue being shitty and people will still be nice to them. Accidents happen and people deserve some leeway but if someone is known for being shitty I think it’s better to give them the same energy they put out.
If you punish an adult (within social norms) you mostly get negative results. If you give them grace you might not get it in return but you also are less likely to suffer.
That would work for someone having an off day. Not an actual shitty person. If they knowingly didn’t reply for half a year and only messages back when they wanted to use them, that’s likely an actual shitty person.
Shitty people usually lack empathy, which is why they are ok with being shitty. If you treat them with kindness, they are much more likely to keep abusing the situation. When I refer to a shitty person, I’m talking about narcissistic, machevellian, slightly sociopathic types of people.
I find that treating shitty people kindly just lets them know they can continue being shitty and people will still be nice to them. Accidents happen and people deserve some leeway but if someone is known for being shitty I think it’s better to give them the same energy they put out.
If you punish an adult (within social norms) you mostly get negative results. If you give them grace you might not get it in return but you also are less likely to suffer.
That would work for someone having an off day. Not an actual shitty person. If they knowingly didn’t reply for half a year and only messages back when they wanted to use them, that’s likely an actual shitty person.
Shitty people usually lack empathy, which is why they are ok with being shitty. If you treat them with kindness, they are much more likely to keep abusing the situation. When I refer to a shitty person, I’m talking about narcissistic, machevellian, slightly sociopathic types of people.
Game theory says otherwise
Could you elaborate? I’m no expert, but what the previous poster says sounds like tit-for-tat to me, which is a good strategy.