- cross-posted to:
- science@lemmy.world
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My brain was never designed at all
Bad news, I designed it. Worse news, Im bad at design
I try to explain to my partner that it’s not about a form of self abuse to be knowledgeable of the evil being done in the world. It’s only a form of self abuse if you are not acting to fight that evil. It is a form of doomerism that keeps the last part of you passively accepting it.
Instead, I think of it as accepting that you are a small part of the overwhelmingly potential for good. The fight is impossible if you fight it alone. If my brain won’t let me look away; then I need to accept that and do my small part until it gets better. But I need to do something. I can’t just watch it. That IS self abuse.
It’s like a bunch of people looking at a car accident. We all freeze and look for some time. No one is doing anything. But suddenly everyone does something once that first person runs over alone.
The single person in this analogy is DSA, PSL, mutual aids, and countless groups fighting ICE or fighting Zionism. We are “running to the car” right now. We’re trying to lift the car alone knowing we won’t be able to. But the crowd of people are watching; realizing that they CAN do something besides just look.
Don’t use articles like this as a reason to “check out”. It won’t go away. The reason bad news is so much right now is because so many people are frozen or not even looking. Go out and meet people that are working in their small way to fight back. Their is nothing better for mental health than surrounding yourself with other like minded people. You’ll quickly realize that, in the real world, these groups aren’t filled with doomers or people critizing you for “taking so long”. On the contrary, you’ll find the most positive and heartwarming people you’ve ever met.
Your comment sounds nice but the most common result it libs telling us to vote, lol
Libs telling people to vote is the least damaging thing liberals do. I think a lot people that heard “do more than just vote” for some reason have fallen into lefty doomerism and are unironically now advocating for people to NOT vote. Like, we have actual socialist on the ballot TODAY in New York primaries. You’re not choosing between Trump and a genocide vice president. Go fucking vote when you can. It’s not lib shit to get a pro Palestine antizionist socialist into a position of power.
I tried doing that. The problem was that being in contact with these groups or people massively increased the amount of bad news I came into contact with. I really tried, but I just couldn’t handle it and had to retreat again.
I seriously don’t know how I can help consistently without breaking down. I’m trying sometime but then I just have to shut down again because I feel so utterly terrible.
My comment was a mix of general advice and personal experience. For me, my brain doesn’t let me look away, or at least trying to “check out” doesn’t help.
I’d say the general point is about not isolating yourself. Whether you’re staying on top of news or not. The groups or social networks you find don’t have to be directly helping other people that come from that “bad news”. They can just be about helping yourself. Whether that’s a mutual aid group or even just a group of people that go hiking together.
We’re all at our own stage of life. Maybe that means you do gotta “check out” for some time to recover. But, that should only ever be a “step” in your personal journey. It should never be the destination. Isolating oneself is never a place to see as the solution.
It doesn’t have to be “what you’re about” either. It can be once a week, once a month, etc.
Also, you CAN break down. When you do, if you’re in the right group for you, those people will understand. They will feel exactly as you do. You will be met with empathy not judgement.
I know, because I feel that same way. When you’ve been holding in sadness for so long, that even thinking about the smallest amount of empathy from someone else makes you lose it. That’s ok. It’s ok to show others how hard it is. We’re all just trying to hold it in because we feel alone. We aren’t.
I just don’t know how to find that right group. I’ve been going out for so many years, trying again and again and never managed to. There’s always like 1 (or whatever small fraction) person out of the whole group I get along with and the rest are varying amounts of shitty.
But thank you for your words and trying :)
Sounds like me. I usually hate group settings and do better one on one. Think it’s my ADHD or whatever range of the spectrum I’m on. If you’re in the Seattle area we can get a coffee sometime lol
Wrong continent, but I appreciate the offer :)
Can we both end our relationships and be together instead? This really speaks to my soul.
I’ve had so many partners look away permanently. They make me turn off ad-free news and put on shitty radio with ads full of propaganda.
I try to talk about society issues, and they won’t let me. They prefer to scroll feel-good Instagram propaganda bullshit.
You’re depleted and need time to recover before you try helping again. This is a perfect case of “secure your own mask before assisting others”.
Go be with friends. Touch some grass. Do some art. Go visit a garden or plant something.
If you feel up to it, look into volunteering we local food banks or animal shelters.
On a larger scale, build a digital lifeboat and de-google/apple/fb. Form privacy cooperatives with your family and friends (whoever is the techiest runs a server for the cooperative and you all share a private cloud). This can act as a filter and a support group if managed well.
Thanks, I’m trying :)
Happy to help!
It sounds like the group you were working with was ineffective tbh. I don’t know who you were worrying with, but it’s not going to protests that do it, it’s working with a group like some DSA chapters that actually recognize the material conditions and use historical materialism to combat them.
Well the ADL thinks that DSA is a hate group now…so they instantly get my vote.
I had to mute subreddits like r/cats and r/dogs because of posts memorializing pets. I can’t help feeling the pain of that person’s loss and it just made me feel so sad so frequently.
The worst part about the bad news is the continued lack of action to remedy some of it.
If you’re not routinely unplugging you should probably start.
If you plan to continue to use social media you should also HEAVILY curate your feeds. Consider it self-care ;)
I really should but the train wrecks are hard to look away from.
(Do your thing already Big Macs 🙏)
