Nah. Definitely not. Standard hard lesson you gotta learn when dating is that if the person doesn’t want to talk to you after the first date, that’s it. Move on.
I had a date many years ago with a friend of a friend who I didn’t like at all after about 30 mins into the date. I paid for the meal, we chatted by our cars, and both left. I thought it was mutually a “nah”. Boyyyyyyy was I wrong.
I guess to some people, you are the only date they’re going on this decade, and it matters a lot.
But those people are too out of touch. It was one date. No sex, no kiss, no spark. An hour or two at most. Move on. I shouldn’t have to put somebody down after THAT much body language and lack of anything else. The message is communicated. I shouldn’t have to look them in the eyes and literally tell them I’m not interested.
Like, if it’s vague or middle of the road, fine. If it’s a second date or later, fine. If we decide to hook up anyway, then yeah that needs to be clarified. But not after one short date with nothing but awkward silence and no chemistry.
Like, remember what you’re there for: to meet somebody you want to spend the rest of your life with. If there isn’t a spark, there isn’t a spark. And if you’re there to hook up, then obviously this doesn’t need to be said.
Just because you had that hard lesson doesn’t mean you have to inflict that hard lesson on other people.
It’s not hard to send some variation of a no second date message. Even just a copy pasted polite template is better than nothing. If you don’t want to deal with their response, just block after hitting send and move on.
Thank you for the date, but I’m not feeling the chemistry for another meeting. I appreciate you taking the time, best of luck out there!
I mean, you aren’t wrong. I generally try to unless it’s really obvious. Like if I think the person and i are on the same page. I’m not out here to hurt anybody. But that’s also why I think it’s important to learn that lesson so you don’t get hurt. Like, teach your kids to have a reasonable self confidence so they aren’t fucking so self centered that they’re overly sensitive. Dont expect the world to bend to you, specifically, and have a modicum of some self emotional reliance.
You’re right there is nothing wrong with a clear polite “it was nice to meet you but sorry I didn’t feel it. Take care”
I also think nor everyone can communicate well. Some people come right out and say things, some people don’t take offence at everything and can discuss things, and some people avoid hard conversations.
Some people like myself would prefer implicit distancing than trying to put words on it. It may hurt to receive such message even though it’s respectful and nice
To me it still leaves things ambiguous. Especially obvious in cases like this where one party thinks the date went completely fine
It is not the job of the man to have to do all communication if the woman doesn’t want to do her part.
He doesn’t have to think of all possibilities the woman might be encountering and then ask about them just because she is unable to ask one question.
Nah. Definitely not. Standard hard lesson you gotta learn when dating is that if the person doesn’t want to talk to you after the first date, that’s it. Move on.
I had a date many years ago with a friend of a friend who I didn’t like at all after about 30 mins into the date. I paid for the meal, we chatted by our cars, and both left. I thought it was mutually a “nah”. Boyyyyyyy was I wrong.
I guess to some people, you are the only date they’re going on this decade, and it matters a lot.
But those people are too out of touch. It was one date. No sex, no kiss, no spark. An hour or two at most. Move on. I shouldn’t have to put somebody down after THAT much body language and lack of anything else. The message is communicated. I shouldn’t have to look them in the eyes and literally tell them I’m not interested.
Like, if it’s vague or middle of the road, fine. If it’s a second date or later, fine. If we decide to hook up anyway, then yeah that needs to be clarified. But not after one short date with nothing but awkward silence and no chemistry.
Like, remember what you’re there for: to meet somebody you want to spend the rest of your life with. If there isn’t a spark, there isn’t a spark. And if you’re there to hook up, then obviously this doesn’t need to be said.
Just because you had that hard lesson doesn’t mean you have to inflict that hard lesson on other people.
It’s not hard to send some variation of a no second date message. Even just a copy pasted polite template is better than nothing. If you don’t want to deal with their response, just block after hitting send and move on.
I mean, you aren’t wrong. I generally try to unless it’s really obvious. Like if I think the person and i are on the same page. I’m not out here to hurt anybody. But that’s also why I think it’s important to learn that lesson so you don’t get hurt. Like, teach your kids to have a reasonable self confidence so they aren’t fucking so self centered that they’re overly sensitive. Dont expect the world to bend to you, specifically, and have a modicum of some self emotional reliance.
Both can be right at the same time.
This is one reason I very clearly said something like “I’d like to see you again” to people.
You’re right there is nothing wrong with a clear polite “it was nice to meet you but sorry I didn’t feel it. Take care”
I also think nor everyone can communicate well. Some people come right out and say things, some people don’t take offence at everything and can discuss things, and some people avoid hard conversations.
Some people like myself would prefer implicit distancing than trying to put words on it. It may hurt to receive such message even though it’s respectful and nice
I tend to be dumb as a brick, and even when I’m not, I’d rather have a polite “no thanks” than wondering what if.