lemmy.net.au
  • Communities
  • Create Post
  • Create Community
  • heart
    Support Lemmy
  • search
    Search
  • Login
  • Sign Up
Dort_Owl [they/them, any]@hexbear.net to badposting@hexbear.netEnglish · 2 days ago

Actually I talked to god and he said he did it because he hates us

hexbear.net

message-square
51
fedilink
94

Actually I talked to god and he said he did it because he hates us

hexbear.net

Dort_Owl [they/them, any]@hexbear.net to badposting@hexbear.netEnglish · 2 days ago
message-square
51
fedilink
alert-triangle
You must log in or register to comment.
  • Snort_Owl [they/them]@hexbear.net
    link
    fedilink
    English
    arrow-up
    18
    ·
    2 days ago

    If we’re made in gods image it means god poops which means whoever made god thought it was cosmically funny

    • NPa [he/him]@hexbear.net
      link
      fedilink
      English
      arrow-up
      8
      ·
      2 days ago

      Do you think God can drop a dookie so stank even He can’t clean up in one wipe? Or is it heretical to even assume God doesn’t use a bidet?

      • Snort_Owl [they/them]@hexbear.net
        link
        fedilink
        English
        arrow-up
        3
        ·
        2 days ago

        God has ibs and does not wash

      • ChatPPB [none/use name]@hexbear.netB
        link
        fedilink
        English
        arrow-up
        1
        ·
        2 days ago

        If you are smart enough to live in a house, that’s the same way you’d be being ravenous.

  • Owl [he/him]@hexbear.net
    link
    fedilink
    English
    arrow-up
    7
    ·
    2 days ago

    Earlier organisms pooped out the same hole they ate with.

    Now we have two separate holes.

    But nothing has evolved the third digestive hole yet.

    • Flyberius [comrade/them]@hexbear.net
      link
      fedilink
      English
      arrow-up
      2
      ·
      1 day ago

      Funny, I don’t recall pissing out my arse

      • ProletarianDictator [none/use name]@hexbear.net
        link
        fedilink
        arrow-up
        2
        ·
        1 day ago

        Go to any Wendy’s

        • ChatPPB [none/use name]@hexbear.netB
          link
          fedilink
          English
          arrow-up
          1
          ·
          1 day ago

          Stop calling my cats.

      • Owl [he/him]@hexbear.net
        link
        fedilink
        English
        arrow-up
        1
        ·
        1 day ago

        That’s not part of the digestive system.

    • Dort_Owl [they/them, any]@hexbear.netOP
      link
      fedilink
      English
      arrow-up
      4
      ·
      2 days ago

      I have

  • GrouchyGrouse [he/him]@hexbear.net
    link
    fedilink
    English
    arrow-up
    21
    ·
    2 days ago

    Jesus was walking in the garden and one of the Pharisees said “O Rabbi, you say god is good yet god made poop.” Jesus dismounted his velociraptor and said “To the dung beetle, poop is good.” The Pharisees turned into stone or fire or whatever.

  • ConcreteHalloween [none/use name]@hexbear.net
    link
    fedilink
    English
    arrow-up
    22
    ·
    2 days ago

    What else are we supposed to do with solid waste? Sweat it out of our pours? That sounds way grosser.

    • videogame [he/him]@hexbear.net
      link
      fedilink
      English
      arrow-up
      13
      ·
      2 days ago

      Still poop but it comes out way cleaner and you don’t even have to wipe

    • Kefla [she/her, they/them]@hexbear.net
      link
      fedilink
      English
      arrow-up
      8
      ·
      2 days ago

      Just let us breathe it out like we do with carbon

    • chgxvjh [he/him, comrade/them]@hexbear.net
      link
      fedilink
      English
      arrow-up
      4
      ·
      2 days ago

      Some people have a bag attached to their belly. Not sure if that’s a preferable alternative.

      • ConcreteHalloween [none/use name]@hexbear.net
        link
        fedilink
        English
        arrow-up
        4
        ·
        2 days ago

        My grandpa had that. He seemed okay with it.

  • XiaCobolt [she/her]@hexbear.net
    link
    fedilink
    English
    arrow-up
    12
    ·
    2 days ago

    Isn’t that why he sent his one and only son, Jesus, to tell us all to have a high fibre diet and drink more water?

    Though it’s been decades since I was in Sunday school.

    • infuziSporg [e/em/eir]@hexbear.net
      link
      fedilink
      English
      arrow-up
      7
      ·
      2 days ago

      Maybe this is what “Man cannot live on bread alone” was all about

    • GrouchyGrouse [he/him]@hexbear.net
      link
      fedilink
      English
      arrow-up
      10
      ·
      2 days ago

      Everyone forgets that the loaves used during the whole “loaves and fishes” scenario were jam packed with stone cut oats and whole grains.

      • XiaCobolt [she/her]@hexbear.net
        link
        fedilink
        English
        arrow-up
        5
        ·
        2 days ago

        Also fish because it’s less inflammatory on the GIT system than red meat.

    • Snort_Owl [they/them]@hexbear.net
      link
      fedilink
      English
      arrow-up
      7
      ·
      2 days ago

      Don’t forget not eating things you’re intolerant too

  • Salah [ey/em]@hexbear.net
    link
    fedilink
    arrow-up
    8
    ·
    2 days ago

    I can’t think of a more efficient way to get rid of waste than releasing a daily brown log from our backsides.

    • CliffordBigRedDog [he/him]@hexbear.net
      link
      fedilink
      English
      arrow-up
      6
      ·
      edit-2
      2 days ago

      For me its more like brown water 3 times a day

      • Salah [ey/em]@hexbear.net
        link
        fedilink
        arrow-up
        8
        ·
        2 days ago

        That sounds slightly less efficient

    • ChatPPB [none/use name]@hexbear.netB
      link
      fedilink
      English
      arrow-up
      3
      ·
      2 days ago

      This is why he makes himself a child-touch with a modern-time low self-esteem

      • Kefla [she/her, they/them]@hexbear.net
        link
        fedilink
        English
        arrow-up
        13
        ·
        2 days ago

        catgirl-disgust Sorry ChatPPB, this one’s a miss

        • ChatPPB [none/use name]@hexbear.netB
          link
          fedilink
          English
          arrow-up
          8
          ·
          2 days ago

          Good.

          • Snort_Owl [they/them]@hexbear.net
            link
            fedilink
            English
            arrow-up
            8
            ·
            2 days ago

            Lmao

            • ChatPPB [none/use name]@hexbear.netB
              link
              fedilink
              English
              arrow-up
              2
              ·
              2 days ago

              spray-bottle

      • Salah [ey/em]@hexbear.net
        link
        fedilink
        arrow-up
        3
        ·
        2 days ago

        You scare me sometimes

        • ChatPPB [none/use name]@hexbear.netB
          link
          fedilink
          English
          arrow-up
          2
          ·
          2 days ago

          I think it’s weird how it’s such a dumb premise that he’s quite completely incapable of thinking and will be won. But like, the gist of it is he has that’s why I don’t know much about it.

          • Salah [ey/em]@hexbear.net
            link
            fedilink
            arrow-up
            4
            ·
            2 days ago

            Please stop

            • ChatPPB [none/use name]@hexbear.netB
              link
              fedilink
              English
              arrow-up
              3
              ·
              2 days ago

              That’s what I’ve heard about it, that’s just not to say it’s it and not really

  • infuziSporg [e/em/eir]@hexbear.net
    link
    fedilink
    English
    arrow-up
    7
    ·
    2 days ago

    What, would you rather we were single-chamber filter feeders?

    • Snort_Owl [they/them]@hexbear.net
      link
      fedilink
      English
      arrow-up
      7
      ·
      2 days ago

      Yes

      • infuziSporg [e/em/eir]@hexbear.net
        link
        fedilink
        English
        arrow-up
        2
        ·
        edit-2
        1 day ago

        That’s like if you had your cloaca in your mouth. It’d smell like farts all the time.

        • Snort_Owl [they/them]@hexbear.net
          link
          fedilink
          English
          arrow-up
          2
          ·
          1 day ago

          Don’t threaten me with a good time

  • chgxvjh [he/him, comrade/them]@hexbear.net
    link
    fedilink
    English
    arrow-up
    7
    ·
    2 days ago

    What’s the alternative, not pooping and just filling up like a baloon.

    • CrawlMarks [he/him]@hexbear.net
      link
      fedilink
      English
      arrow-up
      7
      ·
      2 days ago

      Cubes.

      • chgxvjh [he/him, comrade/them]@hexbear.net
        link
        fedilink
        English
        arrow-up
        7
        ·
        2 days ago

        @wombat@hexbear.net

      • ChatPPB [none/use name]@hexbear.netB
        link
        fedilink
        English
        arrow-up
        6
        ·
        2 days ago

        rosa-salute

    • Helios44 [none/use name]@hexbear.net
      link
      fedilink
      English
      arrow-up
      4
      ·
      2 days ago

      Not needing to eat, so we don’t need a digestive tract, and therefore no poop

      • chgxvjh [he/him, comrade/them]@hexbear.net
        link
        fedilink
        English
        arrow-up
        2
        ·
        2 days ago

        I recall some old reddit thread where somebody actually did that. Nuked their gut biome and switched to a liquid diet. No more poop.

        • Helios44 [none/use name]@hexbear.net
          link
          fedilink
          English
          arrow-up
          2
          ·
          1 day ago

          Well I meant like not needing to eat anything (including drinking) in general.

  • Sanctus@anarchist.nexus
    link
    fedilink
    English
    arrow-up
    15
    ·
    2 days ago

    Pooping if it was actually designed intelligently:

    tRd3l03bifWAmDl.png

  • GoodGuyWithACat [he/him]@hexbear.net
    link
    fedilink
    English
    arrow-up
    8
    ·
    2 days ago

    No, it’s physical proof of our original sin. You think Adam and Eve were pooping before they got that apple?

    • Kefla [she/her, they/them]@hexbear.net
      link
      fedilink
      English
      arrow-up
      13
      ·
      2 days ago

      What were their buttholes for lea-think

  • kesslerpartyatmyplace@anarchist.nexus
    link
    fedilink
    English
    arrow-up
    9
    ·
    2 days ago

    Well, out the front of the face was tried, but they kept getting sick.

  • microfiche [he/him]@hexbear.net
    link
    fedilink
    English
    arrow-up
    12
    ·
    2 days ago

    I mean, god doesn’t exist but buttholes and shit isnt the thing that’s gonna clinch it for us.

    • Sleepless One@lemmy.ml
      link
      fedilink
      English
      arrow-up
      13
      ·
      2 days ago

      You sure? Buttholes are great at clinching.

  • Calfpupa [she/her]@lemmy.ml
    link
    fedilink
    English
    arrow-up
    4
    ·
    2 days ago

    Don’t judge other dieties fetishes!

badposting@hexbear.net

badposting@hexbear.net

Subscribe from Remote Instance

Create a post
You are not logged in. However you can subscribe from another Fediverse account, for example Lemmy or Mastodon. To do this, paste the following into the search field of your instance: !badposting@hexbear.net

badposting is a comm where you post badly


This is not a !the_dunk_tank@hexbear.net alternative. This is not a !memes@hexbear.net alternative. This is a place for you to post your bad posts.

Ever had a really shitty bit idea? Joke you want to take way past the point of where it was funny? Want to feel like a stand-up comedy guy who’s been bombing a set for the past 30 minutes straight and at this point is just saying shit to see if people react to it? Really bad pun? A homemade cringe concoction? A cognitohazard that you have birthed into this world and have an urge to spread like chain mail?


Rules:

  1. Do not post good posts.
    • Unauthorized goodposting is to be punished in the manner of commenting the phrase “GOOD post” followed by an emoji that has not yet been used in the thread
    • Use an emoticon/kaomoji/rule-three-abiding ASCII art if the rations run out
  2. This is not a comm where you direct people to other people’s bad posts. This is a comm where you post badly.
  3. This rule intentionally left blank.
  4. If you’re struck for rule 3, skill issue, not allowed to complain about it.

Code of Conduct applies just as much here as it does everywhere else. Technically, CoC violations are bad posts. On the other hand: L + ratio + get better worse material bozo

Visibility: Public
globe

This community can be federated to other instances and be posted/commented in by their users.

  • 249 users / day
  • 577 users / week
  • 1.05K users / month
  • 2.01K users / 6 months
  • 2 local subscribers
  • 838 subscribers
  • 6.31K Posts
  • 33.7K Comments
  • Modlog
  • mods:
  • TomboyShulk [she/her]@hexbear.net
  • WhyEssEff [she/her]@hexbear.net
  • gaycomputeruser [she/her]@hexbear.net
  • CoolerOpposide [she/her]@hexbear.net
  • oscardejarjayes [comrade/them]@hexbear.net
  • Hestia [she/her, fae/faer]@hexbear.net
  • Acute_Engles [he/him, any]@hexbear.net
  • comrade_pibb [comrade/them]@hexbear.net
  • BE: 0.19.9
  • Modlog
  • Instances
  • Docs
  • Code
  • join-lemmy.org