Meh, it shouldn’t be normalised, it’s degrading and copy cats will absolutely do it in non consensual ways. This is well into the realm of BDSM, and needs clearly established consent, not some move that people will pull out at random because they saw it in a screen
I absolutely agree on the consent bit, but it already seems to be well and truly normalised IMO. Banning it in porn is madness though - those with healthy boundaries already understand porn isn’t real life, and those who don’t aren’t going to suddenly learn about consent if we ban certain (arbitrary) acts. The correct measure, as usual, is to invest in proper sex education instead of prohibition.
Speaking anecdotally, at least 50% of my previous girlfriends have enjoyed it and even encouraged it. One even taught me the safe way to choke them. That being said, my current girlfriend is very much not a fan. I don’t really care either way, whatever gets them off
No choking of any kind is safe. It’s all edge play.
There’s a huge difference between a firm hold and chokehold. Giving someone a firm grasp is a safer way of doing that if you’re gonna do that at all. It’s not as dark romance book boyfriend hot, but it has the added benefit of not leading to accidents.
There’s a huge difference between a firm hold and chokehold.
So much this! I think it’s under-communicated that you have this whole spectrum from “placing hand lightly on neck” to “actual strangulation”, and there’s a whole lot of fun to be had without getting close to the dangerous side of that spectrum at all.
It is fair, I think, to set your own boundaries with how close to choking you are willing to get - consent requires BOTH to enthusiastically consent, not just the sub.
I think a safer scenario involves some playing along from the sub. A firm non-choking grip just below the throat to signal to them to hold their breath - that way they can actually breathe the entire time and reflexes can kick in if they need to, but you are strongly encouraging them to play along with the pre-established signal instead of actually restricting airflow. To someone deep enough in subspace that can feel just as intense as an actual choke without the risk.
Anyone who wants to get into anything even remotely BDSM-y should have mandatory reading of Sunstone first.
There’s a character there who lost her hands because she wanted to impress her dom boyfriend and tied herself to the bed with self-tightening knots. The boyfriend - not aware of the fact - was home late. By that time she lost strength in her arms, the knots tightened and cut off blood-flow and her hands had to be amputated.
This shit is sexy and hot, but dangerous if performed by unaware/inexperienced people.
BDSM can skirt some safety lines. It’s generally easy or at least quite obvious how to be safe if you know what you’re doing, so ignorance or extreme behavior are usually what get people in trouble.
The more minor incidents do make for great stories if you know anyone who works in A&E. “I tripped and fell on a courgette.” Sure you did, love.
Meh, it shouldn’t be normalised, it’s degrading and copy cats will absolutely do it in non consensual ways. This is well into the realm of BDSM, and needs clearly established consent, not some move that people will pull out at random because they saw it in a screen
I absolutely agree on the consent bit, but it already seems to be well and truly normalised IMO. Banning it in porn is madness though - those with healthy boundaries already understand porn isn’t real life, and those who don’t aren’t going to suddenly learn about consent if we ban certain (arbitrary) acts. The correct measure, as usual, is to invest in proper sex education instead of prohibition.
The government should be able to decide what to do in bed? Come on
This is about media content not bedrooms, so yes.
But if people do get in to choking very few will do proper consent and safety, so this absolutely gets into being a police matter
Oh it’s actually not. It’s about what you can do
The UK government isn’t regulating what you can do in privacy, so no
awful lot of pearl clutching on lemmy.
If you ask medical professionals , nearly any amount of choking is pretty unsafe/not worth the risk.
Obviously putting your hands there and pretending isn’t a problem, bit anything harder carries substantial risk.
Speaking anecdotally, at least 50% of my previous girlfriends have enjoyed it and even encouraged it. One even taught me the safe way to choke them. That being said, my current girlfriend is very much not a fan. I don’t really care either way, whatever gets them off
Does this account for either windpipe chocking and side pinching?
No choking of any kind is safe. It’s all edge play.
There’s a huge difference between a firm hold and chokehold. Giving someone a firm grasp is a safer way of doing that if you’re gonna do that at all. It’s not as dark romance book boyfriend hot, but it has the added benefit of not leading to accidents.
So much this! I think it’s under-communicated that you have this whole spectrum from “placing hand lightly on neck” to “actual strangulation”, and there’s a whole lot of fun to be had without getting close to the dangerous side of that spectrum at all.
Yeah, the cuties ask me for the lack of oxygen high. I’ll keep ya words in mind
The problem is that the average sub has a deathwish and they cum harder in proportion to how close they get to it.
And then you have to be the party pooper and go “no sweetie I will not be tying a noose around your neck”
One can only go so far tbh.
It is fair, I think, to set your own boundaries with how close to choking you are willing to get - consent requires BOTH to enthusiastically consent, not just the sub.
I think a safer scenario involves some playing along from the sub. A firm non-choking grip just below the throat to signal to them to hold their breath - that way they can actually breathe the entire time and reflexes can kick in if they need to, but you are strongly encouraging them to play along with the pre-established signal instead of actually restricting airflow. To someone deep enough in subspace that can feel just as intense as an actual choke without the risk.
Anyone who wants to get into anything even remotely BDSM-y should have mandatory reading of Sunstone first.
There’s a character there who lost her hands because she wanted to impress her dom boyfriend and tied herself to the bed with self-tightening knots. The boyfriend - not aware of the fact - was home late. By that time she lost strength in her arms, the knots tightened and cut off blood-flow and her hands had to be amputated.
This shit is sexy and hot, but dangerous if performed by unaware/inexperienced people.
BDSM can skirt some safety lines. It’s generally easy or at least quite obvious how to be safe if you know what you’re doing, so ignorance or extreme behavior are usually what get people in trouble.
The more minor incidents do make for great stories if you know anyone who works in A&E. “I tripped and fell on a courgette.” Sure you did, love.
Tell my last 2 girlfriends this. They don’t care.