Good evening fickle friends and dedicated enemies, we are so glad you managed to attend…

just say “Gentlefolk”

Greetings humans!

Salutations, meatbags!

Ladies, Gentlemen, Esteemed Peers. (if you want to be serious)

Ladies, Gentlemen, and you special assholes (if you’re in a group of close friends and trying to be funny).

source: I am non-binary.

Edit: David Bowie’s answer to this question.

Friends, Romans, countrymen!

Theydies and gentlethems

Reduce to one word: “Folks.”

Here are some fun greetings. Not all of these include every person:

• “Guys, gals, and non-binary pals”
• “Girls, gays, and theys”
• “Friends, Romans, countrymen”
• “Ladies, gents, violents, and the rest of you”
• “Ladies”, followed by a pointed stare to the men in the room for at least five seconds
• “All miscreants gathered here”

Some that work generally:

• “Distinguished guests”
• “Esteemed guests”
• “Folks/people”
• “You all/all of you/y’all”
• “Good people/folk here today/tonight”
• “Everyone/everybody gathered here today/tonight”

Comrades, folks, fellow apes

Honored motherfuckers

“Howdy y’all!” is a complete sentence.

I think the best greeting for this is just “everyone”

it’s how the announcements on my trains changed over time, starting from addressing “ladies and gentlemen” to “hello everyone”

Ladies, Gentleman, and avid pronoun collectors.

“Hello, everyone!”