The more I hear people talk about it who aren’t cis-het men, the more I hear criticism about the concept. But so far, I’ve only heard people say that it’s stupid, that it’s not a thing, that it’s men’s own fault etc. But I’ve yet to understand where that criticism comes from. I don’t want to start a discussion on whether or not it’s real or not. I just want to understand where the critics are coming from.

  • zeropointone@lemmy.world
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    13 hours ago

    I suppose it won’t end until it get normalized to approach cis men the same way it’s normalized in the other situations I talked about.

    Never going to happen because of the function of cis men. Not only in society, not only in civilization but for mankind as a whole. It’s about our very human nature.

    • squaresinger@lemmy.world
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      10 hours ago

      No, that’s not it. You are seeing your experience (and the experience of people around you, all living in the same society at the same time) and extrapolate that to the “very human nature”.

      Just go back 50 years and you have all these structures making it easier for men to keep contact. You had fraternities, churches, unions, clubs, associations and so on, all designed to pick up young men, give them structure, give them contacts and help them being part of something bigger. All that failed some time in the 70s or 80s with the individualism movement that valued individualism over every kind of group.

      If you go back even further, social structures were even stronger, with even things like arranged marriage being commonplace in many societies. In societies where that was common, there was no expectation at all that a young cis man would have to approach women at all.

      Don’t extrapolate your experience to all of human-kind. It is almost never correct.

        • TheSambassador@lemmy.world
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          6 hours ago

          Hey look at this guy! He’s met every human that’s ever existed, ignored all the times that humans have been good and caring, and has decided that we’re completely cooked!

          But for real, I get that misanthropes are “in” right now, but if you look for the helpers, you will generally find them. Most people in the world are not out to cause pain - actively malicious people are rare. We just focus a shit ton of our attention on them.

            • TheSambassador@lemmy.world
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              5 hours ago

              Is saying “not everyone is shitty” toxic positivity? I’m not denying the presence of malicious humans, but the first step to becoming a bad person is believing that everyone else is too.

              What’s your end goal here - what are you trying to communicate? Just that the world is bad and people should agree with that fact and do nothing?

              I don’t really mean to say that you can’t express your feelings on the Internet or that they aren’t valid, but I do just want to kinda poke people who seem to be in this “people are awful” mindset and point out that our psychology and our information ecosystem are all heavily biased towards the negative, but it’s not the complete picture.