So I’m a self-employed general contractor. I got a job to redo the plumbing system in a customer’s house and asked my dad to help me with it since it was a two-man job and he’s been a plumber for 40+ years.
This morning the customer called to say that last night a loose fitting came off and completely flooded their utility room. They were able to shut off the water immediately and sweep/wet-vac the floors, and it looks like there was no permanent damage other than to my pride.
The thing is, the joint that failed was done by my dad. My customer doesn’t know - I took full blame - but I feel like I don’t want to tell my dad either, and here’s the problem. I’m very big on honesty and I feel like I should tell him, or at the very least that I’d want to know if I was in his shoes. I just don’t know what it achieves other than making him feel bad about it too. I don’t want this to be the first thing that pops into his head the next time I ask for his help. I’d wish to keep this a good memory.
I’m torn here. I know my intentions are good, but I’m not sure whether I’m actually protecting his feelings or my own.
This is kinda hurting my head because I’m torn.
I’d want to know if I were the dad. I’ve been in IT for almost 30 years and I make mistakes and learn stuff all the time. It was very likely a brain fart moment.
The tricky part in my opinion is it coming from my kid. My kids are know-it-all assholes 😀 Luckily none of them are in IT.
If I were you I’d let it slide unless it happens again. I’d probably recheck his work a time or two just to verify it was a fluke. But old people retire for a reason. I’m old so I can say that.
If your kids aren’t better than you at something you fucked up imo. Hope those know it all assholes know you respect them too, this whole world is way too competitive and that kind of recognition from a parent is incredibly affirming
There are much better than me in their fields of interest. But they are at the age that they think their parents are idiots (two are in their early 20s… the other two are older and starting to understand).
Here’s an example: The youngest tried to “explain” how some technology works and I had to go all Aslan on him … “Do not cite the Deep Magic to me, Witch. I was there when it was written”. I’ve been working with computers and tech since the late 70s/ early 80s… I’m not that old just got started at a very early age and was good at it. He’s an environmental scientist so he’s no dummy. He’s just doesn’t quite grasp how much I know about certain things. Folly of youth I guess.
But yes they are better at many things, just not all. And yes I let them know frequently.