By not telling him, you’re denying him the opportunity to correct his behavior in the future. He can’t improve if he doesn’t know. If you’re going to have him help you in the future, you need to learn too. Use reassuring language and stress that you’re not trying to beat him down with it.

Sometimes it doesn’t always work the way it ought. You can be a professional and test your work, and there’s some flaw just waiting for a little more time to fail and cost money.

I’d tell him, but I’d mention it as a “something happened that we didn’t expect but I fixed it” and not make it his fault, because it may not have been.

You are the general contractor, which means any fault of workmanship is your responsibility for not checking fittings and joints. This is basic quality control.

My dad built houses for decades, we always cross checked our electrical and plumbing contractors. Mistakes were common.

What would you do if he wasn’t your dad? You mentioned you took full blame, almost as if you felt like you were covering for him, but I think even if it wasn’t your dad, you’re responsible for anyone you bring in, and the work they do, so taking the blame should be universal. And going forward, I’d expect a similar, universal approach. You could choose to not mention it but also not employ that person any more, mention it before the next job and ask them to be extra careful, change procedures to guarantee it doesn’t happen again…

I don’t think him being your dad should necessarily afford him special treatment.

If he asks: “A joint failed”

And let go of the catastophizing. “Nearly cost me a fortune!!!” That accomplishes nothing.

It didn’t cost you a fortune, and it could’ve easily been your own mistake.

Shit happens. Just be glad it wasn’t as bad as all that.

What would you do if he wasn’t your dad? What if it was another employee that made a mistake like this?

Even though he is your dad, he is also your employee in this case. If your relationship with him is healthy, this should be something you two can work through in both family and in business.

A loose fitting came off

Ask him if he recalls tightening and making all the fittings. (From automotive, any bolt that gets torqued gets paint marked when torqued. At least in my garage)

no matter what he says. Just say one was left loose and you don’t recall who did it, but it wasn’t marked so be sure to mark in the future.

Note, this marking can save you as well, if someone takes it onto themselves to play, you can point out the broken paint and reject warranty work

If he’s been a plumber for 40 years, he’s probably made mistakes before. May as well tell him. Insurance exists for a reason anyway

I’m with everyone else, if it was probably just a brain fart moment, let it go. If it was a situation where he thought he knew what to do, but was wrong, it’s probably worth teaching him the correct way, but it really doesn’t sound like that is the case.

Could have, but didn’t, so don’t make it about that. Everyone makes mistakes, and a good person will want to know so they can consider what might have been done differently and learn from the situation.

I would want them to know so they can learn from it.

And I’d feel the same way if I was the plumber, I’d need to know if my work failed.

Decenter yourself and your relationship from this scenario just for a moment, is this information that your (coworker maybe in this case?) needs to know in order to do a better job in the future? How would you go about informing them if so. Then you can bring back in all the other variables before figuring out your next step. Perhaps you can also frame the information you have differently to allow them to put together the other details “last job there was a leak, was there something we overlooked?” Or smth idk

I guess the question is what do you gain by telling him? Was it a mistake that could be learned from, or is it just shit happens sometimes? Even if it’s a learnable moment, is it worth potentially destroying a man’s confidence in his trade for little to no benefit?

I don’t know the minutia of the situation, so I can’t really recommend with clarity. I’d be leaning towards not telling him.

It’s about what dad can gain from being told. Covering up a mistake like this is condescending and any confidence that lets him keep is false. Part of being up to the job is a realistic idea of your capabilities and the ability to receive feedback. If dad’s still a peer and a real part of the team, he needs (and gets) to know. Hiding accidents like this to maintain a more comfortable reality is how you handle a patient during end of life care, not someone who’s still living and working in the world we share.

Conversely… at some point our capabilities dwindle, no one gets to participate in our shared reality forever. If your father’s at a point where you need to shelter and protect him there’s nothing wrong with that, but it’s quite a heavy responsibility to assume and not necessarily going to be easy or fun for either of you. Very similar commitment to raising a child, but keeps getting harder until they die instead of easier as they grow. It’s heavy stuff and no one here can answer this for you op. The way you frame this makes you seem like an intelligent and caring person, you’ve got this. Good luck out there.

This is kinda hurting my head because I’m torn.

I’d want to know if I were the dad. I’ve been in IT for almost 30 years and I make mistakes and learn stuff all the time. It was very likely a brain fart moment.

The tricky part in my opinion is it coming from my kid. My kids are know-it-all assholes 😀 Luckily none of them are in IT.

If I were you I’d let it slide unless it happens again. I’d probably recheck his work a time or two just to verify it was a fluke. But old people retire for a reason. I’m old so I can say that.