Hi all I need a sanity check.
Diagnosed ADD as a kid, struggled to pay attention and care in school, was on concerta for a decade. Parents would up my dose if my grades went down and expected me to grow out of ADD once I turned 18.
That didn’t happen and my life fell apart and I vowed to never take medication again because I saw it as a conspiracy to sell pills and get people messed up in the head.
After 15 years of emotional dysregulation and crippling anxiety I spoke to a dr and tried an extended release amphetamine yesterday.
My whole world changed. No emotional noise, no background feeling of “I’m a bad person and I don’t know why”, social anxiety is gone (was able to respond to all my messages and even make a phone call AND talk to a cashier!!!). Was able to do tasks I left behind because the anxiety to start was too bad.
I feel like I can do anything I set my mind to now. My self confidence is up. I don’t dread things. I woke up calm. My mind used to be a firehose of thoughts and emotions all at max level. Now it’s calm and orderly and logical.
This seems too good to be true. I didn’t even know existence could be like this. Is this normal? Is it the honeymoon phase? Is it just because I’m taking an amphetamine? I’m beside myself and life feels like I’ve got all the cheat codes now. It seems too good to be true.
Thanks for sharing! That actually sounds really great.
I’m in my 40s and didn’t even realize that I had ADHD until a few years ago. Between my inhibitions and difficulty starting the conversation, I’ve been unable to get myself medicated.
It’s worth it. And it’s the disease that is convincing you that not treating the disease is the only acceptable path.
This may be one of the few places where people will understand what it’s like to know that all of those things are true, yet STILL be unable to take the actions required to do anything about it.
I put all of this off because it felt impossible. I had all these ideas of how hard it would be. All I did was tell the doctor my daily anxieties and struggles with tasks and then they wrote a prescription. I couldn’t believe it was that effortless.
I made a list of the struggles with everyday things I have and then at my drs appointment I told them and then he wrote a prescription. I’m hoping you can experience what I’m feeling. I don’t think I’ve ever felt so calm and balanced and able. You deserve that.
I know how stupid it sounds, but it’s actually kind of scary to think about my brain not working like it has for the past 40 some years. I know that it’s broken, but I’ve spent so long altering my life to the brokenness, that fixing it makes me nervous.
That’s not stupid at all I felt the exact same way. I was afraid I’d be another person or that I’d lose some key personality traits (like being funny). I take a lot of my humour from pain I experience and make it absurd but my wife says I’m still funny 🤷
Feeling nervous about starting it was the main thing holding me back with my ADHD. And it’s totally valid. But the brain doesn’t know what it can’t imagine. It genuinely feels like I got plopped into a functioning body (albeit a bit clammy and nauseous because I just started meds).
In all honesty starting meds is probably one of the best decisions I’ve ever made in my life. I’ve never experienced relief/euphoria/freedom from everything holding me back. I want you and anyone else on the fence about medicating it to know that it’s fucking magical when paired with the right meds. I’m at a loss for words really. Even if I was permanently clammy and sweaty and gross it beats the way I’ve been living own thousand-fold. It’s so effective I had to make a post and see if it’s normal.
I’m hoping you will be able to get what you need. You deserve it
Thanks for the support. I’m already sweaty, so I guess I’ve got nothing to lose!
Haha ya anxiety made me go through shirts FAST. God speed, sweaty one 😎