Hi all I need a sanity check.
Diagnosed ADD as a kid, struggled to pay attention and care in school, was on concerta for a decade. Parents would up my dose if my grades went down and expected me to grow out of ADD once I turned 18.
That didn’t happen and my life fell apart and I vowed to never take medication again because I saw it as a conspiracy to sell pills and get people messed up in the head.
After 15 years of emotional dysregulation and crippling anxiety I spoke to a dr and tried an extended release amphetamine yesterday.
My whole world changed. No emotional noise, no background feeling of “I’m a bad person and I don’t know why”, social anxiety is gone (was able to respond to all my messages and even make a phone call AND talk to a cashier!!!). Was able to do tasks I left behind because the anxiety to start was too bad.
I feel like I can do anything I set my mind to now. My self confidence is up. I don’t dread things. I woke up calm. My mind used to be a firehose of thoughts and emotions all at max level. Now it’s calm and orderly and logical.
This seems too good to be true. I didn’t even know existence could be like this. Is this normal? Is it the honeymoon phase? Is it just because I’m taking an amphetamine? I’m beside myself and life feels like I’ve got all the cheat codes now. It seems too good to be true.
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Sounds like me when I first started depression meds I’m my 30s after a lifetime of undiagnosed misery. My first thought when they started kicking in was “Holy shit, is this what it’s like for everyone else?” It’ll settle down, you’ll be fine.
I can relate to that feeling but for me stimulants wasn’t the answer, I just turned into a shaking clucker, even on the lowest dose. Autism and OCD likely makes it worse. It was finding the right balance of high CBD and medium THC that worked for me, then once as op rather well put it, slowed down the firehose. Allowing for a healthy diet and healthier choices, mediation and exercise. Improving my wellbeing overall
Echoing the life-changing experience everyone else has shared.
But what I don’t see mentioned (or I just missed it) is don’t squander this time! You need to use this clarity to start to build routines and structure in your life, because if/when the meds fade, be it because you need a holiday, or other medical conditions necessitate stopping, or your insurance stops covering your meds, or…, those routines are structures are going to be incredibly important.
Think of it this way: the meds are a high-end power tool that finally makes doing the work of living possible, but the scaffolding you build now is what keeps the structure standing when the power goes out. The medication gives you the capacity to act, but your systems are what ensure that action isn’t lost if you have to put the tool down.
This seems too good to be true. I didn’t even know existence could be like this. Is this normal? Is it the honeymoon phase? Is it just because I’m taking an amphetamine? I’m beside myself and life feels like I’ve got all the cheat codes now. It seems too good to be true.
Kinda depends honestly. As I’m sure you know, these meds aren’t something that perform consistently across different people, but your experience isn’t uncommon.
For me personally, I had a fairly calm feeling start, and it took me till the end of the day to realize that I had barely touched social media, gotten 3X the normal amount of work done, and also had near zero anxiety.
A few weeks in, and it was more of a subtle effect, after slightly bumping up my dose after experimenting with it a bit to get some better results. I’m not sure if it was placebo, or just my body adjusting, but overall things are still way better. When I’m on my meds, I don’t overthink things anymore, my anxiety is lessened (though not gone like it originally was), and I find it easier, but not guaranteed, to switch from social media to more productive tasks, and to stay focused on those tasks.
Personally, based on what I’ve seen and heard, and what my psychiatrist has told me, I’d say you’ll probably have an experience like this:
- Kaboom, everything is amazing, life is perfect (lasts anywhere from a few days to a few weeks)
- Doesn’t hit as strongly as it did the first time, but still works okay
- Not working as well, requires bumping up the dose (dose increases are incredibly common for the majority of people on ADHD meds, all part of the process, don’t sweat it!)
- Taking your meds helps you consistently stay focused the majority of the time, and you’ll probably find most anxiety you experience will only be anxiety over something truly worthy of it, like an imminent deadline, rather than just anything under the sun.
If you want to help keep your meds effective, or just generally wanna try to make things easier for yourself, you can try supplementing a little caffeine in and seeing if it helps give you a boost (be warned this can cause headaches or anxiety spikes too, so start with a small amount of caffeine and go from there. I find it causes headaches and anxiety for me, but drastically increases my ability to hyperfocus on things, ideally something worth my time)
Or if you have extended release and instant release meds, you can try taking a small amount of instant release and your extended release at the same time to give you a boost, so you can start being productive on something, and then the extended meds will just help you continue well throughout the day after you’re already on track doing whatever it is you need to do.
I’d say that “too good to be true” feeling is true to the extent you probably will never reach the exact same high as when your brain wasn’t used to it yet at all, but overall, the meds will help a lot, even if it’s not “every day is world changingly good”, and that’s perfectly fine :)
Yep. There will be dosage adjustments later as you develop a tolerance, but it’s life changing.
One of the things you should be prepared for is grief; being able to function properly on medication made me look back and think what my life could have been like if I had been diagnosed and treated sooner. I had to grieve for the life I missed out on because I didn’t understand how to help my brain function until my 30s.
I am not only overpreparing for grief, but also extremely hesitant to start any medication because I live in a volatile part of the world and don’t know if I can be comfortable depending on medicine that can’t always be found. I’m also scared about things like traveling with medication, or losing professional credibility/legal rights, since it’s still somewhat stigmatized.
I’ve grieved following much smaller improvements to my life.
In 2020 the entire country ran out and people started rationing and sharing their medication. So there’s precedent for people figuring things out.
You will function without meda as you are functioning now without meds. It may feel like a bigger hurdle when you know things can be easier, but as long as you keep up your strategies for functioning you will not lose anything. You’ll only gain better days - even if they are not every day.
Plus grief is a lot easier to deal with when you have better emotional regulation, like with meds.
The grief is honestly one of my biggest fears with starting medication. I don’t want to face that my life could have been so much better.
Of course that’s not a good reason to not seek help logically, but damn if those built in guilt trips and shame aren’t incredibly strong.
Don’t feel grief for this time a year from now.
The best time to plant a tree is 30 year ago, the second best time is right now.
I did it, I was at peace with the grief after maybe a week. Or at least it wasn’t my biggest problem any more.
Yeah I’m in the process of finding a psychiatrist now. It’s just been difficult fighting my own built-in reluctance.
Thanks :)
My issue was more “getting help with ADHD requires you to fight the effects of ADHD to get appointments and referrals”
In the UK it was impossible. In the Netherlands, the system is more caring.
Don’t let it hold you back, it’s worth it. Grief is a part of growth.
It does no good to look at what could have been. I was diagnosed well into adulthood and I could very easily spiral on the what ifs. Every previous possible me would not be the same me that I currently am so I only concern myself with what I do, not what some other person would do
It is my understanding that part of the effect, especially the medically desired effect, does not build (much) of a tolerance. The part that feels like a recreational drug does, but it’ll still regulate noradrenaline in the prefrontal cortex all the same with the starting dose.
These are hard to exactly tell apart, though; it’s a blurry line.
I’m just a tall guy who weighs 200+ lbs. I started at 5mg and built up from there. I guess it wasn’t tolerance so much as adjusting to the dose?
Ya I heard that it’s possible that one may go through a grief stage. I haven’t felt it yet thankfully. I think about all the missed potential but in the end, I lived my life on hard difficulty, still made friends and memories and did cool experiences. I’m trying to frame it as “sure on paper you may have lost a decade and a half, but it took that time to come here and now the world is an oyster and you’re hungry af”.
I appreciate the advice from you 😊 it’s all relative since bodies are all different but approximately how long did it take for ya to require a dosage increase? I’m on day 2 and I’m all clammy and gross feeling due to the side effects haha. I can’t imagine taking a larger dose anytime soon
I slowly built up over a couple years, then when I quit drinking I was able to reduce down to just over half my top dose.
Stimulant medication is the FIRST line of treatment for psychiatrists treating ADHD.
This is how i feel on that type. My main issue with it is it stifles my creativity. I am lucid, but dull. Kinda of a showstopper for my work, so I save it for high anxiety and/or extra scatterbrained days. Glad it’s working out for you.
I went through the test for ADHD. In reality, I check all of the boxes and can related to this forum through and through. The therapist that assessed the results said no and attributed everything to THC and alcohol consumption. It completely discounts the first 30 years of my life, but okay. It cost me about $700 for that info and my official WAIS IQ.
I would love to seek a second opinion, but that’s so much money. I’m thinking of testing the black market but for now I just cope. I envy you and wish you the best.
Fuck I hate doctors like that. I had a doctor some years ago that attributed my anxiety problems to THC as well. Even though I was diagnosed at 11 and only ever tried cannabis at 19. It hurts to read that that whole experience cost you money. $700 is a big chunk. I am hoping you can find another doctor and not have to pay for this sort of testing so that you can see if these medications help you like they have for me.
yeppp, i was late-dx and when i first got put on rits about 90% of my anxiety dissolved and i was walking around like “holy shit…is this what normal people feel like?? they just get this shit for free?!”
it was just mind-blowing to me that i could finally follow a train of thought and not be constantly overwhelmed by brain noise and other people just… didn’t have that going on at all
The biggest thing for me was honestly just walking past a piece of trash or something that fell on the floor and just… Picking it up. Nothing groundbreaking or momentous. A simple action. An action that everyone else seems to do with no issues. There was no internal debate or fight with myself to pick it up. Just “oh, lemme grab that as I’m walking past.”
I was convinced I had an anxiety disorder on top of it all. Turns out it’s all just from ADHD. Your description matches mine to the tee. Did the dissolved anxiety stay that way? Did it creep back?
Similar case here. Been on slow-release meds for a few years now and the anxiety has not come back.
i haven’t been able to have consistent access to meds in the last couple years unfortunately so i can’t speak much to how things shake out with long term usage, i do remember some anxiety did come back a bit while i still had regular access (i do have ptsd as well so maybe not so unexpected) but for me it was still nowhere near the level of unmedicated. for some people i know that have been on it a lot longer than me they say it takes the edge off just enough, then other people i know say it actually made their anxiety worse so there seems a bit of variety in experience with it!
Thank you :) I’m sorry you haven’t had proper access. Hoping things change for you. I’ve also got PTSD so I’m curious to see how things go. Happy to see that even when anxiety comes, it’s nowhere near unmedicated. I used to be in bed for 2-6 hours completely losing all my time to panic attacks, weird half dreams, personality changes, and other nastiness.
thank you, i sadly relate very much to what you describe and i hope you have a lot more peace in your brain & life going forward! it’s hard being in the rough seas but i know those calmer waters are there, and now so do you :)
Absolutely normal. One thing to be wary of is that over time you will adjust to the new normal, and it may not feel euphoric any more. Don’t immediately assume that just because things don’t feel amazing anymore it means it isn’t working. Also, don’t assume that it is working if you don’t feel it anymore. Yes, that’s conflicting advice.
Welcome to the catch-22. If I have a lapse in my meds, the first few days back on I usually feel euphoric and have issues sleeping. Then it usually evens back out to my medicated “normal” on the third or fourth day. Over time you’ll get a sense for “my meds are working” and “no they aren’t”. I’ve had to adjust my dosage up and down over the last 15 years to get things just right.
Also, if you do lapse your meds after being on them for a while, you may legitimately have a withdrawal. Yeah, there’s all the negative stigma around that word and illicit substances, but it also applies to some doctor prescribed stuff too. About 3 or 4 days without I get extra cranky, extra unfocused, and usually get a nasty headache. Then it balances out to my “unmedicated normal”.
Appreciate this! I don’t mind if the euphoria goes away. The ability to stay emotionally regulated is the main thing. If things just become normal and I’m staying emotionally regulated, then that’s a perfect scenario for me. I’m just blown away at being able to handle tasks without the emotional whirlwind and panic attacks :) it’s so magic.
That is my experience with methylphenidate.
Did it last?
It has been over a decade and still works that way as long as it hasn’t worn off. So about 15 minutes after I take the pill u til it wears off.
It isn’t 24 hours a day or anything, generally 6-8 hours for the Extended Release. I was taking two a day for most of thst which meant it only wore ofd the last four or so hours at the end of the day. This last refill there was a mixup and I only have one a day and I’m back to ADHD land after 3 p.m. or so.
Wow that’s excellent to hear. Mine lasts 14 hours- to the point I had a bit of a hard time sleeping last night haha
Whoa what are you taking that lasts 14 hours?
Thanks for sharing! That actually sounds really great.
I’m in my 40s and didn’t even realize that I had ADHD until a few years ago. Between my inhibitions and difficulty starting the conversation, I’ve been unable to get myself medicated.
It’s worth it. And it’s the disease that is convincing you that not treating the disease is the only acceptable path.
This may be one of the few places where people will understand what it’s like to know that all of those things are true, yet STILL be unable to take the actions required to do anything about it.
I put all of this off because it felt impossible. I had all these ideas of how hard it would be. All I did was tell the doctor my daily anxieties and struggles with tasks and then they wrote a prescription. I couldn’t believe it was that effortless.
I made a list of the struggles with everyday things I have and then at my drs appointment I told them and then he wrote a prescription. I’m hoping you can experience what I’m feeling. I don’t think I’ve ever felt so calm and balanced and able. You deserve that.
I know how stupid it sounds, but it’s actually kind of scary to think about my brain not working like it has for the past 40 some years. I know that it’s broken, but I’ve spent so long altering my life to the brokenness, that fixing it makes me nervous.
That’s not stupid at all I felt the exact same way. I was afraid I’d be another person or that I’d lose some key personality traits (like being funny). I take a lot of my humour from pain I experience and make it absurd but my wife says I’m still funny 🤷
Feeling nervous about starting it was the main thing holding me back with my ADHD. And it’s totally valid. But the brain doesn’t know what it can’t imagine. It genuinely feels like I got plopped into a functioning body (albeit a bit clammy and nauseous because I just started meds).
In all honesty starting meds is probably one of the best decisions I’ve ever made in my life. I’ve never experienced relief/euphoria/freedom from everything holding me back. I want you and anyone else on the fence about medicating it to know that it’s fucking magical when paired with the right meds. I’m at a loss for words really. Even if I was permanently clammy and sweaty and gross it beats the way I’ve been living own thousand-fold. It’s so effective I had to make a post and see if it’s normal.
I’m hoping you will be able to get what you need. You deserve it
Thanks for the support. I’m already sweaty, so I guess I’ve got nothing to lose!
Haha ya anxiety made me go through shirts FAST. God speed, sweaty one 😎
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I just had a try for Adderall, certainly felt life changing and I’m considering getting a diagnosis. While for my BF, has been 10x as life changing and from my POV it looks like most of his mental struggles stem from untreated ADHD
I’m happy that you felt such a change and happy for your bf too. I honestly thought ADHD was just one piece to my puzzle but quite literally everything I’ve been suffering from appears to stem from untreated ADHD like your BF. I wasn’t even expecting anything to happen for my anxiety. Didn’t even consider it. But it’s the biggest change I’ve noticed in the 1.5 days I’ve been on meds now. It’s so wild how brains work.
You’re not crazy. This was my experience as well. I was able to access mental abilities I always suspected I had, but couldn’t leverage or identify before. Sadly, this level of epiphany doesn’t happen for everyone. Feel free to hit me up if you ever want to talk through anything!
Wow this is awesome. I’m so happy that this is possible for people. I feel excited to find out things I didn’t even think I could do.
