Hi all I need a sanity check.
Diagnosed ADD as a kid, struggled to pay attention and care in school, was on concerta for a decade. Parents would up my dose if my grades went down and expected me to grow out of ADD once I turned 18.
That didn’t happen and my life fell apart and I vowed to never take medication again because I saw it as a conspiracy to sell pills and get people messed up in the head.
After 15 years of emotional dysregulation and crippling anxiety I spoke to a dr and tried an extended release amphetamine yesterday.
My whole world changed. No emotional noise, no background feeling of “I’m a bad person and I don’t know why”, social anxiety is gone (was able to respond to all my messages and even make a phone call AND talk to a cashier!!!). Was able to do tasks I left behind because the anxiety to start was too bad.
I feel like I can do anything I set my mind to now. My self confidence is up. I don’t dread things. I woke up calm. My mind used to be a firehose of thoughts and emotions all at max level. Now it’s calm and orderly and logical.
This seems too good to be true. I didn’t even know existence could be like this. Is this normal? Is it the honeymoon phase? Is it just because I’m taking an amphetamine? I’m beside myself and life feels like I’ve got all the cheat codes now. It seems too good to be true.
Absolutely normal. One thing to be wary of is that over time you will adjust to the new normal, and it may not feel euphoric any more. Don’t immediately assume that just because things don’t feel amazing anymore it means it isn’t working. Also, don’t assume that it is working if you don’t feel it anymore. Yes, that’s conflicting advice.
Welcome to the catch-22. If I have a lapse in my meds, the first few days back on I usually feel euphoric and have issues sleeping. Then it usually evens back out to my medicated “normal” on the third or fourth day. Over time you’ll get a sense for “my meds are working” and “no they aren’t”. I’ve had to adjust my dosage up and down over the last 15 years to get things just right.
Also, if you do lapse your meds after being on them for a while, you may legitimately have a withdrawal. Yeah, there’s all the negative stigma around that word and illicit substances, but it also applies to some doctor prescribed stuff too. About 3 or 4 days without I get extra cranky, extra unfocused, and usually get a nasty headache. Then it balances out to my “unmedicated normal”.
Appreciate this! I don’t mind if the euphoria goes away. The ability to stay emotionally regulated is the main thing. If things just become normal and I’m staying emotionally regulated, then that’s a perfect scenario for me. I’m just blown away at being able to handle tasks without the emotional whirlwind and panic attacks :) it’s so magic.