My mom died 5 years ago. We used to hang out every day, she was the best person I’ve ever known. I think people mourn in different ways. Some prefer not to think about it. For me, I wanted to remember her more and talk about her, look at photos etc. A quote that stuck with me from that time is something like this: When a loved person dies, they leave a huge hole behind. The hole never gets smaller, but you grow around it. Turned out to be true.

The best advice might come off dickish since the question is about how to deal with parents death. Do everything you can while they are alive answer their calls listen to their advice and just listen dont argue. Take them on vacations with you take them out to diner often. Learn what they like to eat and cook for them, have an open door policy with them. Invite them often and make them a priority. So when the borrowed time is up you will have no regrets. Hug them like its the last time whenever you see them and most importantly be patient with them as it will come a day when you will not be able to do any of the above and you will trade it all for one more call from them!

Having had a parent die, I can tell you that the feeling never goes away, but it does get easier.

What’s the best memory you have of your dad?

It really is hard mate and I’m glad you’re reaching out. When I need my dad I go to !dadforaminute@lemmy.world and get a pep talk advice or any kind of dad moment. Loads of lemmy dads post there

Basically you dont. Ive only lost grandparents so far and even that hurts like a bitch. Every day it gets a bit easier, and eventually it’ll just feel normal. Even 10 years down the line you’ll do something awesome and think “i cant wait to show this to dad” and then youll remember and tear up a little.

Theres no “getting over it”, theres just grieving and time. Youre right. It sucks. It sucks hard. But unfortunately thats just the way life is sometimes.

Only bright side I can offer you is that pretty much everyone goes through it in their lives, and it is pretty much as bad as it can get. You’re not likely to feel this upset over anything else.

I haven’t yet but:

• if it’s my dad, I would rejoice with a good beer
• if it’s my mom, I would grief for a few weeks I guess

I’m sorry you’re going through this. It’s so hard! Lost my mom in 2023 and I miss her everyday. I was a mess for the first few months - worse than i realized. My thoughts of her are now mostly happy memories and things i want to tell her. I talk to her a lot and i talk to her pets about her.

There’s no one right away to grieve. Be gentle on yourself.

My mother died 11 months ago. Brain cancer.
I just kept going. If I had to go to work, I did. If I had to take a minute or 20 to collect myself at a random moment, I took it.

Before her diagnosis in December of 2024, we were planing on her visiting, and us going to see White Sands a couple hours away from my place. I took the trip last April, just me and a little urn. That was a good trip. A few days mostly alone in a quiet place.

It worried my father, my going by myself. But I reminded him, even as a kid I always wanted solitude when I was upset, this wasn’t any different.

But that’s me. You should trust yourself. Greve Grieve how you feel is right for you.

Extremely poorly but I keep going because I hate the alternative!

I lost my mom to cancer when I was 21. She was the only parent I had. She was 47.

To say it messed me up is a world class understatement. And on top of that crushing loss, I had a woman break my heart about 4 months after she died. I was drunk for about 7 years.

But honestly what turned it around for me was, of course, time and surprisingly starting a family of my own.

I’m not recommending alcoholism or having children as a recourse to losing a parent. What I’m saying is time, and living your life, will help.

It sucks, and the pain is horrendous, but hang in there. This too shall pass.

I did not cope well.

Here is my hard earned advice: Go by thier grave as much as you need to. Sit and talk as long as you want. Cry as much as you want/ can.

That is a space where you are allowed to grieve. this is a space where you are allowed to be sad. Tell them your recent achievements. Tell them your frustrations.

Pray for advice. Tell them to poke the Devine, fate, or entropy to favor your way. sit at the grave and look at the sky. Diacuss anything.

What ever it takes. drive for hours on end. turn on a video game that you don’t have to think about. Clean if you must.

Eat at least 1 meal. drink water at least. Make thier recipes mix thier favorite drinks.

Smell thier clothes. Hug thier clothes. Store them. And or be rid of them.

What ever it takes.

Hang in there.

Mom and dad are separated, physically and matrimonially, for a decade or two now. Separately, they’re each on their slope.

I have NO hope of coping with their loss. I’m mom’s PoA, so we’re somewhat ready, but I’m not ready.

The fact that billions of people have gone through this in the last 30 years, that doesn’t help one little bit. I’m scared as hell.

First of all take the time to grieve. It’s a big loss and an empty space. It’s OK to be sad even at what people say are the wrong times. It is your loss and your sadness.

Carry your fathers memory with you. That doesn’t mean you have to be sad, but it is ok if you are, no matter how long it has been.

I would recommend when you really miss him, either do something that you know would make him proud of you, or an activity that you may have done together or wanted to do together and then when you’re done, enjoy the memory of his smile knowing he would have had fun doing that with you or he would have enjoyed the fact that he raised you to be able to do whatever it is you accomplished.

No matter what, just remember in the end this is your loss. Process it howyou need to.

So sorry for your loss.

I get that. My dad passed away when I was 19. I’m in my 50s now, and I still miss him. Not as much as I used to, but there will be a great song come on that reminds of him, or how he’d be impressed with my kid. And just every now and then I think about how he’d totally love all the technology we have these days. Man, this thread hit me in the feels.

I’m just saying that it gets easier over time, but it’s always there. YMMV

I’m sorry, friend. Take the time to sit with it. Remember the good times. Tell him how you feel.