Just wondering about this.

I have a friend who sometimes just specifically craves a certain dish from a certain food chain. (Like wicked wings from KFC or something)

Or they suddenly feel like watching a specific show (Like Boston Legal)

How does that work?
I never seem to experience something similar to that.
Is it common to feel like that?

  • josephc@lemmy.ml
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    9 hours ago

    I think back to times I’ve eaten a thing and remember the sensation, then try replaying the feeling to see if it would be just as satisfying.

    At the moment, I’m in the mood for a snack. I’m thinking about the dried fruit I had yesterday and the sensations it elicited when I ate it. Those same sensations of flavor and texture sound agreeable, so I’m thinking that would be nice.

    Not everyone has this form of recall all the time. Some people have it intermittently. I asked my partner what she wanted to eat and she said she could not tell if she was hungry or if any food sounded good. I took this as a warning and we stopped at the nearest restaurant immediately. Fortunately, this was the right decision and we both felt better afterwards.

    If you’re feeling hungry, imagine the smells of a food. Sense memory tends to run deep in people. If you find that you can’t recall or reject a sensation, that’s okay! Plenty of folks are in the same situation.

    • AloneDownUnder@quokk.auOP
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      2 hours ago

      I think sense (and emotions) are some of the most difficult things to remember for me. Which might explain why certain things which are easy for others are very difficult for me. While other things are much easier to me than for most people.

  • Smoogs@lemmy.world
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    23 hours ago

    I think its just a sudden crave of taste and it is represented via familiarity.

    eg: craving something sweet or salty

    that person just associated the salty with the wings.

    youll find this with some people will crave gummy worms or specific chocolate bar and its just the sweetness.

    later in life as you learn how your body works youll just grab the closest thing available if that thing isnt around.

    The boston legal thing i get cuz once in a while dont we all crave a bit of James Spader now and again? that’s a flavour you cant substitute.

    • AloneDownUnder@quokk.auOP
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      15 hours ago

      Maybe i’ve never really spent time learning how my body works and what I want. I’ve always felt like I shouldn’t really have any needs because then I would take space from other people. Not sure where that comes from.

  • Sludgeyy@lemmy.world
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    2 days ago

    Do you have aphantasia?

    I have it and assume people get an image of Wicked Wings from KFC that pops into their head and now that they “see” it they crave it. Just like seeing it in a commercial.

      • Sludgeyy@lemmy.world
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        21 hours ago

        Not really. For example I cannot pull up an image of the gieco gecko in my mind. I think gieco gecko car insurance, I would have to think deeper to think more. Like does my car need insurance, would the gecko save me money, etc… And I’m just not going to do that for a commercial I’m actively trying to avoid.

        Commercials are more for imagers. The ones that need to see the cheeseburger before they buy it. The ones where a gecko seems like a great thing to do business with.

        I’m not immune to their propaganda though.

    • AloneDownUnder@quokk.auOP
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      2 days ago

      I don’t think I have aphantasia. I can picture things in my mind. But it’s very vague. And i can’t keep focused on something for long

      • Sludgeyy@lemmy.world
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        2 days ago

        Very vague. I would have said my “images” were very vague before I learned I had it. It’s almost like I can see them but they just aren’t there.

        Like when you picture an apple does it have color?

        Do you read a book and imagine it playing out in your mind? Do you get disappointed when watching a movie based on a book you read that the visuals do not match what you had imagined?

        Do you get random imagines popping into your mind that you don’t control?

        • AloneDownUnder@quokk.auOP
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          2 days ago

          It doesn’t really have colour no. But it differs quite a bit from day to day.

          Some days I can try imagining something and it will just be nothing. just looking at my closed eyelids Other days I can have this very vague idea of an apple, but usually no color and it’s not very stable. Once in a while. like maybe once a year, I have this very clear, almost lucid image of an entire landscape, but only for a fraction of a second.

          I don’t really imagine much when reading. And in general images don’t pop up in my head if I’m not actively trying.

          • Sludgeyy@lemmy.world
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            2 days ago

            Sounds like you might have aphantasia or a very limited visual memory.

            Definitely contributes to your decision making processes

            Most people can visualize well so you aren’t the norm

            • AloneDownUnder@quokk.auOP
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              2 days ago

              Wow interesting. I also have difficulty in general keeping things in my mind. If somebody tells me 3 things to do, I might forget the next two things when working on the first.

              Maybe it’s related?

              • Sludgeyy@lemmy.world
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                21 hours ago

                How would you attempt to store these three things in your memory?

                If someone said:

                1. Go to grocery store and pick up half gallon orange juice
                2. Go to auto parts store pick up gallon motor oil
                3. Do laundry when you get home

                I’d remember “Half orange juice, then gallon oil, then laundry”

                I can infer where to get the stuff for example, but aslong as I remember certain details I could remember what I needed to do.

                As long as I can repeat “Half orange juice, then gallon oil, then laundry” in my inner voice I won’t forget what I need to do.

                There will be times where I will forget and then have to think. There was something I needed at the auto store…oh oil. Because I don’t break everything down into a perfect list like “Half orange juice, then gallon oil, then laundry”.

                I feel like it’s easier for me to remember if the tasks are related or if the things are in one task. But that is probably for everyone

                • AloneDownUnder@quokk.auOP
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                  16 hours ago

                  I wouldn’t attempt, I will write it down as soon as I have more than 1 thing to do.

                  Laundry specifically can be a bit tricky, because I might remember to do it and put the clothes in the machine and run it. Then forget that I was running a wash and accidentally stumble upon it a few hours later, clothes wet in the machine.

                  If I remember to take them out and hang them. I will often forget to take them back inside when they are dry. (it’s different depending on the sun, so not really something I can set a timer for)

                  Often I won’t notice until the next day, and then I might have to wait a bit longer to make sure they dry again if they got damp overnight.

  • Tiral@lemmy.world
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    1 day ago

    I donno, you just do. It’s hard to explain, one time I was going home at like 8pm and I wanted KFC potatoes and gravy, i didn’t want store in a container, instant, real mashed. I specifically wanted KFC and only KFC. I don’t I was there for a year or two before that.

    • AloneDownUnder@quokk.auOP
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      1 day ago

      Must be kinda funny to be just sitting there one moment, and then the next suddenly you need to have KFC. Do you find it odd yourself, or you just go out immediately to get your potato and gravy?

  • MonkderVierte@lemmy.zip
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    2 days ago

    There’s a… “activation potential” for each need and want. If it get’s over the inhibitors (like, you lazing on the couch), you’d get to it.
    And the wants are mostly fed by relation and wishes.
    While in the case of food, it’s mostly the chemical lab in your belly telling you from experience, that you need something (with more weight on calories-dense stuff (evolution), so, careful).

    Well, it’s a bit more complex than that (with “levels” of channels, mutual influence, etcetc), but that’s the gist of it.

    • AloneDownUnder@quokk.auOP
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      2 days ago

      Ha, that’s definitely the case for me. I would even say that I’m more sensitive than other people in that sense.

      But that’s more about avoiding or disliking something (which I can tell relatively easily) I don’t seem to crave or desire specific things though.

      So most of my life is decided by things I want to avoid, rather than things I actually want myself.

      I think even my choice of studies and work was made that way, and now I realise that I don’t really like those either, and I don’t know what to do instead.

      • finallymadeanaccount@lemmy.world
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        2 days ago

        I don’t know if you do (and it’s none of my business, so I’m not asking), but if you suffer from depression, or are on some medications for it, a lack of enthusiasm can be a side-effect, and a review with your doctor may be needed.

        • AloneDownUnder@quokk.auOP
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          2 days ago

          Not currently using any medication. Except for my stomach because I was vomiting almost every day for the past weeks.

          I think a lack of enthusiasm has been kinda the default for me for as long as I remember

          • EnsignWashout@startrek.website
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            17 hours ago

            I think a lack of enthusiasm has been kinda the default for me for as long as I remember

            I’ve had life phases like that.

            It doesn’t bother me as much, today, as it did, in the past.

            Now, I focus on the things worth avoiding while I wait for my enthusiasm to return.

            For me, enthusiasm returns, in bursts, eventually.

            • AloneDownUnder@quokk.auOP
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              16 hours ago

              That’s nice to hear. I’ve had this one day this year, where I was feeling… I suppose I would call it ‘safe’. And then I would have motivation to do things, and when I watched a tv show, I could actually feel a bit the emotions of the characters in the show.

              First time i’ve experienced something like that.

  • 474D@lemmy.world
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    3 days ago

    … it sounds like the concept of remembering something? And that you liked that thing, and it’s entirely possible to just do it again? Pretty normal stuff

    • AloneDownUnder@quokk.auOP
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      2 days ago

      I suppose it’s normal for most people. Somehow it’s difficult for me to remember what I like? Is that strange?

      One example is that I don’t like pants with sideways pockets, I prefer them to be straight. I can remember this now, but when I actually go out and buy pants (which might be in a year or so) I will likely not remember at that time and buy the ones I don’t like again.

      • EnsignWashout@startrek.website
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        17 hours ago

        Somehow it’s difficult for me to remember what I like?

        I used to have mini-panic attacks when asked what I prefer.

        Now, I just have memorized good enough responses that I won’t be unhappy with later.

        Is that strange?

        I’m told it’s not usual. So I guess so?

        • AloneDownUnder@quokk.auOP
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          16 hours ago

          I used to lock up on questions like what was your favorite vacation. I would literally try to remember every vacation I’ve had (already very difficult) then try to compare them (almost impossible)

          So usually I would have no response.

          This also made learning language difficult, because during practice they ask these kind of questions all the time. But I wouldn’t even be able to answer in my native language. They just thought my language was not good.

    • Buffalox@lemmy.world
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      3 days ago

      Pretty normal stuff

      For humans it is normal. The “simple” function as you call it, is actually the foundation for consciousness.

      • BladeFederation@piefed.social
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        3 days ago

        Not saying this is OP specifically or anything, but I have long suspected that some fellow humans just aren’t as…conscious/sapient as the rest of us. Like literal NPCs. It would explain a lot. No I’m not talking about anything race or eugenics related, not going there at ALL. Just sometimes I’ve met people and wondered “…did we grow up on the same planet?”

        • cynar@lemmy.world
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          2 days ago

          I’ve noticed there seems to be a divide between deep thinking and wide thinking.

          Deep thinking tends to be directed and has a tight focus. It covers a lot of intellectual thinking.

          Wide thinking is a lot more integrated, it’s how we instinctively know how a particular action will affect others, both directly and indirectly. It integrates a lot of topics, but at a far shallower level.

          As an aspie, I’m good at deep thinking. I struggle with wide thinking. I suspect I am fairly blind to a lot of wide thinking effects. Whether their more intuitive thinking is better or worse than my logical deep thinking is a different matter.

        • AloneDownUnder@quokk.auOP
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          2 days ago

          It’s strange. I’ve been in a state of shutdown and disconnect for most of my life. Only recently with lot’s of meditation, I’ve reached a point where I (sometimes) am aware of my own needs and emotions.

          When I look at other people I’m amazed by the capacities they have.

          • They can think about their needs and desire while having a conversation
          • When sitting still and not doing anything, they automatically start thinking about a bunch of things they still want to do or things that happened in the past
          • They can hold their preferences in their head in any circumstance
          • At any given time they have an idea of their priorities or needs.
          • They feel it automatically when they have a certain need, like water, food, connection, etc…

          I suppose this is normal for most people? But for me it has been only a very recent experience, and most of the time I still can’t

          An example of this is meditation. When I sit down to meditate and focus on my breathing, and do this for 1-2 hours, I don’t experience any thoughts about future plans or things that happened before.

          However, with consistency, this seems to be happening occasionally for me now from time to time.

          A few years ago just talking was already pretty hard for me. Nowadays I manage, but it’s mostly talking in a way that I’ve learned from patterns in how other people talk, and i’m not necessarily able to communicate my own state of mind to other people that easily.

          • Natanael@infosec.pub
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            2 days ago

            Sounds like disassociation, perhaps even “anhedonia” (stupid naming, essentially your brain is suppressing emotion). Did you experience any trauma while young? Especially something that lasted a while?

            • AloneDownUnder@quokk.auOP
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              2 days ago

              It does feel like that sometimes. I notice that when there is a moment where it would make sense to be angry, I instead just feel headache or stomachache, but don’t really feel any emotion.

              I don’t know whether I experienced any trauma. I just don’t remember much. Especially emotional things I don’t remember.

              In fact, I had a conversation with my father recently. And I remember we got emotional about something. But right after the conversation, I can’t remember anymore what we talked about.

              • Natanael@infosec.pub
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                2 days ago

                That does sound strongly like some kind of emotional suppression. Some people have problems forming memories when they experience intense anger or sadness.

                Have you ever tried taking notes / writing a diary?

                • AloneDownUnder@quokk.auOP
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                  2 days ago

                  Yes! Maybe a bit too much even. I make a lot of notes to remember what I’m supposed to be doing, or for habits like brushing my teeth. and I even wrote a journal for a long time almost everyday.

                  But I write mostly about the things that happened during that day, not so much about emotions. Maybe because I just don’t really know what to write.

                  When I look back on these entries, it always feels to me like they were written by somebody else.

                  But somehow it’s helping I suppose, since journaling has been the starting point for me discovering all this stuff. I started almost 10 years ago though, and still find it difficult to feel my own feelings and emotions. But being able to write this and share it with others would have been impossible for me only a year ago. I wouldn’t have the idea, or would forget about it, or would feel to uncomfortable to share.

                  I also forget that I wrote about certain things and sometimes find separate notes where I write about the same stuff again and again.

          • Awooooooga@lemmy.world
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            2 days ago

            Yes, all those things are normal. I imagine you have went through some very difficult things to exist as you have been for so long. It’s very interesting that you find meditation is helping you. Thanks for sharing. I send you love and wish you success on your journey and happiness in your life!

            • AloneDownUnder@quokk.auOP
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              2 days ago

              Thank you.

              I’m looking into what might have happened to me. But I don’t really remember much from before I was like 15 years old. I even have difficulties remembering things from the day before. Probably related.

              Meditation seems to be somewhat different for me than others. I don’t really think of anything, just feel physical sensations, mostly discomfort.

              Over time, if I practice very consistently, some thoughts start popping up in my head.

              I’ve heard from others that usually their head is full of thoughts and meditation actually helps them to calm it down.

              Maybe another type of meditation rather than breathing meditation would be more helpful for me, but I’m not sure.

                • AloneDownUnder@quokk.auOP
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                  2 days ago

                  Yeah, had one last year, nothing special to see on it. I did have a traffic accident a long time ago. Got hit by a car while biking. They never did an MRI at that time though.

      • AloneDownUnder@quokk.auOP
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        2 days ago

        For me it’s not simple though. Does that make me non-human? I’m really surprised this is considered a basic thing.

        • EnsignWashout@startrek.website
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          17 hours ago

          Does that make me non-human?

          Nah. Human experience is much more varied than most people ever realize.

          It does make you interesting.

          • AloneDownUnder@quokk.auOP
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            2 days ago

            I do have memory, otherwise I wouldn’t be able to give my own personal experiences in these comments.

            But I also know that in a few days I will have forgotten that I even made this thread.

  • paris@lemmy.blahaj.zone
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    3 days ago

    * Not a doctor or professional, just rambling as a lay person *

    Brains are complex, but seem to boil down to input in, output out. The inputs are sensory stimuli (sights, smells, etc) as well as various hormone and other chemical levels in your body and brain. The outputs are things you think and do.

    The brain will use chemicals like dopamine and serotonin to encourage behaviors. Dopamine acts like the “remember that thing? ohh that would be really good right now” messenger chemical, and serotonin is the feel good reward messenger chemical when the task completes.

    Those chemicals have to actually attach to receivers in cells to work, and other chemicals can take their spot under certain conditions (this is why caffeine keeps most people from getting sleepier — it takes up the space that the “we’re getting tired” messenger chemical would otherwise attach to).

    * Again, not a doctor or professional, just rambling. *

    But If I had to guess, some part of that process is not working as expected in your brain. Dopamine not being produced when it should be, or serotonin not attaching when it should be, or something like that. If you also experience symptoms of ADHD or depression and/or your symptoms impede your life or otherwise bother you, you should consider seeing a psychiatrist to narrow down what’s actually happening and find possible solutions.

    • AloneDownUnder@quokk.auOP
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      2 days ago

      I’ve been to a psychiatrist and many psychologists, but I never seem to be able to communicate my problems with them. They just see a person that seems fine and is friendly.

      I have tried medication in the past, but they always make me feel more overwhelmed and at some point I have to stop. I haven’t really tried much though.

      Only meditation seems to help a bit, but I need to do 2-3 hours per day to notice a small change.

  • xytaruka@lemmy.world
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    3 days ago

    For me i think it’s your brain giving you an incentive to eat something you need nutrient wise, most of the time it’s bog standard hunger you need calories to function and that’s the fuel gauge light coming on.

    But if you are needing iron maybe you want meat and you want something that fills that particular need. If a dish covers multiple bases with veggies meat and carbs it may be more generally desirable because it meets several criteria.

    It’s still not something i feel very strongly but i think some people experience it more because they are more in tune with the needs of their bodies.

    • AloneDownUnder@quokk.auOP
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      2 days ago

      I wonder if there is a way to improve this faculty of knowing what you are missing. Perhaps some kind of elimination diet where you would eat enough calorie wise, but stick to only a few ingredients. Then you might be able to feel like you still want to eat something, but it will be more specific?

      • agamemnonymous@sh.itjust.works
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        2 days ago

        I was a vegetarian/vegan for a few years, and the specificity of my cravings increased dramatically. I wasn’t ever just “hungry”, I had specific cravings for specific foods.

        • AloneDownUnder@quokk.auOP
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          2 days ago

          That’s interesting actually. I’m interested in eating more vegetarian. I am already doing it for about half of the days, but maybe when I do only vegetarian I would be able to tell more!

  • celeste@kbin.earth
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    3 days ago

    I’ve noticed the specific food craving thing around my period. It needs to replace iron or whatever, so I suddenly want a hamburger.

    But how does that connection happen? Is my body releasing hormones in a specific way that my brain understands before and after the burger, and then in the future, the “give me iron” hormone is translated into fantasizing about hamburgers by my brain?

    https://www.parents.com/what-to-know-about-pregnancy-cravings-7507166

    I figured pregnancy was when people get weird cravings the most. Hormones go so wild then, it really makes me think hormones are the culprit here, with the brain translating them as best it can.

    The like three articles I looked at on this all warned about how pica (craving for nonfood items) might mean you have low iron.

    https://www.mdpi.com/2673-6357/6/3/26

    The connection with iron and pica makes me think there is something concrete going on here (don’t eat concrete. go see if you need iron supplements). But your hormones and brain are both flailing around trying to keep you alive, so it can get weird.

    Outside eating, the craving is probably the desire to return to some feeling. Music especially seems to get associated with times and people who were around then, and specific states of mind. I permanently associated one song with a cool scene from a story I was reading, and now I get an echo of the feeling from that scene when I hear it. And when I want that reading a cool action scene feeling, I can listen to that song on purpose.

    TLDR; probably brain translating desire or need by making us want things it associates with filling those needs. With food, hormones seem involved.

    • AloneDownUnder@quokk.auOP
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      2 days ago

      I rarely listen to music because I can’t really concentrate on anything else while music is playing.

      I do like music though, and sometimes I have a random song playing in my head. Makes me wonder whether that is also related to some moment or memory then. I can’t tell though.

  • Buffalox@lemmy.world
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    3 days ago

    I think this is the general formula:
    The Serotonin decides (expected reward). The expectation of biggest reward in the shortest span of time with the least amount of effort and sacrifice of other things.
    If time is prolonged, the reward needs to be bigger.

    Being hungry moves you towards the food, not being hungry will move you towards the TV show.
    If he is not that hungry he might choose the TV, but if he gets hungry while watching he might change his mind and go for the food, despite being in the middle of the show.

    If money is short the dish will decline in priority, especially for people with functioning frontal lobes.
    But there can be many many factors that are weighed not consciously but emotionally. Research shows we are way more guided by emotions than we think, we do what our emotions tell us, and then we rationalize it afterwards to convince our consciousness that it was in control all the time, despite it wasn’t.
    A significant part of our emotional state is actually controlled by bacteria in our stomach! So it is not entirely the brain alone as another comment claims. But it is signals that are sent to the brain, so in that way the brain remains the ultimate decision maker.

    • AloneDownUnder@quokk.auOP
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      2 days ago

      So what is going on when people don’t get the right signals?

      Like if I don’t drink for a full day, I don’t experience thirst. But sometimes I do. Not sure what makes the difference.

      Once, I tried to just drink a specific amount every hour or something. But I also had a situation where I had to vomit (just water) presumably because I drank too much in a short while.

      Is there some way to train yourself to be aware and able to tell these signals correctly again? Nowadays I usually drink something when I feel a headache because apparently that is also typical for dehydration.

      • Buffalox@lemmy.world
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        2 days ago

        If you don’t get the right signals, it definitely is detrimental to having the right behavior.
        Regarding thirst it is well known that elderly people don’t feel thirst to drink as much as they should.
        This harms the kidneys and people may actually die earlier from such a thing.

        I am not aware that this can be trained. You should ask a professional, if you urine is dark yellow you should definitely drink more water.

        • AloneDownUnder@quokk.auOP
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          2 days ago

          Somebody told me to check the color to know

          Problem is that, since I don’t drink that much, I also don’t go to the toilet often.

          Especially when I was still working. I would forget to go to the toilet.

          I would typically only go once per day or maybe once per two days.

          If my memory was better I could probably just remember to drink often enough.

            • AloneDownUnder@quokk.auOP
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              2 days ago

              Maybe there are too many other and stronger sensations for me to be able to notice and pay attention to my thirst?

              • Natanael@infosec.pub
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                2 days ago

                IDK how you’re experiencing things. If it’s “ahedonia” it could be that the signals aren’t reaching your conscious part or that it didn’t learn to process them meaningfully

  • ickplant@lemmy.world
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    3 days ago

    For me, the food I eat and stuff I watch on TV do two things: they either provide novelty and stimulation (new stuff) or comfort (old, familiar stuff).

    As a person who is AuDHD (autism and ADHD), I really need both to thrive (or sometimes just exist).

    So, if I feel under or overstimulated, my brain will crave whatever will help get me to equilibrium.

    At least that’s how I see my system when it comes to cravings and whatnot.

    • AloneDownUnder@quokk.auOP
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      2 days ago

      I was also diagnosed with both autism and ADHD.

      But my experience seems to be a bit different. I’ve spent a lot of time playing games or watching shows, but I never seem to be able to stick with something for long.

      It’s almost like I’m trying to avoid thinking, and I need something new to keep working as a distraction.

      I’ve never rewatched a movie or show, and also never really replayed video games after finishing them.

      I also never crave playing or watching something specific. So I tend to go by whatever I have in my list or what’s new at the moment.

      • katinahat@sh.itjust.works
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        2 days ago

        The more of your comments I read, the more convinced I am you have severe CPTSD and have existed in a state of dissociation for so long that you don’t know any other way to be. I have a friend who’s exactly the same; childhood trauma (which isn’t always what you think - my friend considered their childhood to be pretty good and didn’t realize how it was affecting them) caused them to shutdown so hard, they never felt any emotions until their 30s and just acted on logical reasoning. They’re in therapy now and have slowly been relearning how to feel and connect with their body’s natural impulses.

        • AloneDownUnder@quokk.auOP
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          2 days ago

          I think this might be the case, but how do you even know you are dissociating?

          I used to have difficulty talking and still have difficulty remembering things. It’s easier to talk nowadays, but it’s still quite effortful. And I usually talk about generalities rather than my own experience.

          I can’t really tell if something happened in the past, but I do know I avoided almost everything. I just stayed in my room for most of my childhood.

          I lived with my parents for 30 years. But I don’t really know a lot about them.

          I also just used logic for everything I do for most of my life. But I’ve been finding it more and more difficult lately to do anything. I don’t seem to have the will or motivation anymore.

          What kind of therapy is your friend doing? I’ve been to therapy before. But I never found it helpful. I tend to just talk about whatever the other person wants to talk about.

          • katinahat@sh.itjust.works
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            2 days ago

            The same way you are now, by realizing other people experience things you don’t, and asking a lot of questions. My friend describes their therapist as “unusual” in that she has good insight into his thought patterns and knows how to explain things so he understands. It can be hard to find a therapist that works for you, but I’d suggest looking for one that is autistic and has experience dealing with CPTSD. The specific treatments that have helped my friend are IFS, learning about psychology/trauma, and having someone safe to openly discuss it with.

            • AloneDownUnder@quokk.auOP
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              2 days ago

              I always felt a bit different than most people, and just not sharing experience which seems to be common. But at the same time I’ve heard it’s not really good to compare yourself to others.

              I would say all therapists are unusual to me, because they are able to remember what we said after our session. Write a report about it, and continue where we left of in the next session. For me that feels like an amazing ability to have.

              I think I’ve never really felt that safe with a psychologist. Especially if they are talking much, I tend to just agree with them and I can’t really think very well at the same time.
              It also seems like they have no idea that I’m feeling distressed.
              I often would cough and vomit before an appointment, but be relatively ok during (because I’m focusing on the conversation), only to be exhausted afterwards. But none ever mentioned me looking stressed or anxious or anything.

              Would be great if I can find somebody who is Autistic and has experience with CPTSD. But I have no clue how to look for that. And I don’t really live close by a lot of options, and traveling far drains my energy fast, so I can’t really do much in the session anymore, apart from sitting there and listening.

              I’ve read a bit about IFS, but I can’t even imagine different parts of myself. Seems like very difficult to work on that

              • katinahat@sh.itjust.works
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                1 day ago

                Not gonna lie, it’s difficult to work on all the things you’re mentioning. Repressed memories, out of touch with emotions, unable to think and talk, general lack of drive, chronic exhaustion, isolation. They can be worked on, but it’s a hard process to go through.

                You can literally search for “neurodivergent therapist cptsd” in your area and see who pops up, they often list their specialties online. Maybe you can find one that does virtual sessions so you don’t have to travel? You’ll also need to flat out tell them things like “I don’t feel emotions and want to know why” because they can’t always guess what’s going on (or not going on) in your body. Tell them you have trouble thinking during conversation, too. You’re allowed to take as much time to answer, even days, if that’s how long you need to process something. Right now you’re in the habit of automatically doing what you think is expected of you (fawning/people pleasing), but one of the first steps in undoing trauma is learning how to prioritize yourself and your own needs instead. This is why having a safe person is important; when your nervous system is in survival mode (which is probably most of the time for you currently), you’ll just keep dissociating and not be able to think, feel, or communicate clearly.

                I’ll send you a DM with more info.

                • AloneDownUnder@quokk.auOP
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                  1 day ago

                  Yeah, I’ve always felt like it was an uphill battle. All the things I’ve tried in the past I usually give up after some time. Even things like medication seem to have very limited or sometimes opposite effects on me.

                  I tried virtual sessions before, but find them not that useful to work on the things I have trouble with, if that makes sense? But maybe somebody with the right experience would still be able to make it work.

                  It was suggested to me to focus on some form of somatic therapy, rather than talk therapy, to first learn how to listen to and understand the signals my own body is sending to me.

                  It’s only recently I even understand that my emotions don’t seem to work like they do for typical people. I’m already glad I have some more specific direction to look for now.

                  Thanks for your comment

            • AloneDownUnder@quokk.auOP
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              2 days ago

              Not really.

              I don’t remember much but I feel like they were just absent. My father was usually abroad for work.

              My mother was working full time and also taking care of me, my sister and my brother. I’m not sure how she managed as I don’t recall there being a nanny or something. I do know that my brother needed a lot of attention though, so my mother was happy she didn’t need to pay much attention to me since I was just sitting in my room and being silent.

                • AloneDownUnder@quokk.auOP
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                  1 day ago

                  I checked the link you sent me and a lot does apply to me.

                  I know that I have a strong reaction in general when something doesn’t go well. But I am also scared of showing or expressing it, so it seems like I subconsciously suppress my reaction. Instead, I will feel pain in my stomach or a headache.

                  I also wouldn’t say I have heightened emotions, but maybe I’m just feeling overwhelmed most of the time, so I end up feeling numb.

  • GatesMcBalmer@lemmy.world
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    3 days ago

    Some people aren’t picky at all in my experience. Like my cousin Jack. He’s always ready for a meal and doesn’t care what it is as long and someone else is buying/cooking!

  • ruuster13@lemmy.zip
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    3 days ago

    Evolution explains it. Hunger = need food. As we evolved, our needs got more complex and it’s no longer trivial to identify specific needs from behaviors. If you crave KFC, maybe your system needs sodium, protein, and 11 other herbs and spices. Boston Legal is a popular show because it makes many people’s brains produce some of the neurotransmitters they need at the moment. If you fall in love, your brain might think the person would maximize opportunities for reproducing over time. Different humans will fall in love for different reasons as their body attempts to satisfy different combinations of needs.

    • AloneDownUnder@quokk.auOP
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      3 days ago

      Makes sense that your body would let you know you need food when you are hungry. But can it really be that precise?

      Does that come with experience, or with certain experiences of deprivation? I’ve heard something about pregnant women craving dirt because they don’t have enough iron or something?

      But for me, I’ve never experienced it like that. Even if I don’t drink for a full day, I don’t even feel thirsty. I do feel hungry, but rarely for something so specific.

      • ruuster13@lemmy.zip
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        3 days ago

        It’s not specific or precise. You cast a wide net to meet needs based on what your brain thinks you need and where you can get it. The part of your brain that says I’m thirsty might not work well but some other part convinces you to drink anyway, otherwise you wouldn’t be alive. Your nutrient needs can get met by a variety of sources. Maybe your system adapts well to just the basics. If it gets x proteins and y carbs, it’s happy. The part of a brain that develops cravings in other people hasn’t needed to develop in you. Or maybe stomachs needs a certain nutrient that yours produces naturally while others have to seek it out.

        • AloneDownUnder@quokk.auOP
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          2 days ago

          I usually drink when I have to take medication. Or when my friend who takes care of me tells me to drink.

          I actually wanted to try to not drink anything for a day (or maybe two) just to see if there would be a specific feeling that pops up that makes it clear that i’m thirsty.

          Haven’t tried that yet though, because it seems kinda dangerous maybe.