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miss_demeanour@lemmy.dbzer0.com to Not The Onion@lemmy.worldEnglish · 2 days ago

Man Arrested For Pooping on Opossum in Public

lakelandgazette.info

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Man Arrested For Pooping on Opossum in Public

lakelandgazette.info

miss_demeanour@lemmy.dbzer0.com to Not The Onion@lemmy.worldEnglish · 2 days ago
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THIS is definitely one of those times. This man was arrested this time for pooping on a dead opossum on a street during rush hour traffic. The police report obtained described the scene of the crime
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  • TempermentalAnomaly@lemmy.world
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    10 hours ago

    Guess how many articles there are when you click the tag.

  • answersplease77@lemmy.world
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    12 hours ago

    deleted by creator

  • x4740N@lemmy.world
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    2 days ago

    Opossum should’ve castrated him and remove him from the gene pool

  • Bonus@lemmy.world
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    2 days ago

    *Florida Man

    • chicken@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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      2 days ago

      I guess the only reason the headline doesn’t specify is that it is a Florida local news site

      • Bonus@lemmy.world
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        1 day ago

        Yeah, and it took way too long to figure that out on my part.

  • Nate@piefed.alphapuggle.dev
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    2 days ago

    I thought this was a free country?

    • aeronmelon@lemmy.world
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      2 days ago

  • Manjushri@piefed.social
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    2 days ago

    Why is this site pretending this is a new story? It happened in 2023 .

    • rhythmisaprancer@piefed.social
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      2 days ago

      For whatever reason the source article doesn’t convey this. Although having just typed my thoughts, I realize you by “this site” you probably mean the source here. Maybe someone local knows more about that “news” source?

      • Manjushri@piefed.social
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        2 days ago

        Yeah, in retrospect, I guess I wasn’t very clear there, was I.

        • rhythmisaprancer@piefed.social
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          I think you were clear enough, I am just used to folks not reading and the reference you made meaning “here” but in this case I was not reading 🫣

  • Nusm@peachpie.theatl.social
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    2 days ago

    It’s Florida, isn’t it? I don’t even have to open the link to know that this is in Florida.

    • DominusOfMegadeus@sh.itjust.works
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      Didn’t want to read the article. Wanted to see what state it was.

  • 🇰 🌀 🇱 🇦 🇳 🇦 🇰 🇮 @pawb.social
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    The crime? Exposing his anus in public. They didn’t even charge him for littering? Is public defecation not a crime there?

    • WhyIHateTheInternet@lemmy.world
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      Assuming this is Florida, it’s not like he read a book or something, he merely pooped on a dead animal. They had to charge with something.

    • SaveTheTuaHawk@lemmy.ca
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      Florida is a literal swamp shit hole, so no.

  • WhyIHateTheInternet@lemmy.world
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    2 days ago

    All of you shaming and poking fun at this guy… Like we haven’t all been there before.

    • phutatorius@lemmy.zip
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      13 hours ago

      At least I had enough courage to crap on a wolverine.

    • Sundray@lemmus.org
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      2 days ago

      Exactly, let he who has a clean possum throw the first… well.

    • SaveTheTuaHawk@lemmy.ca
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      2 days ago

      Not possums. We all did squirrels in college. Sure, a few raccoons…

  • treadful@lemmy.zip
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    You really can do anything with your life.

  • abbiistabbii@lemmy.blahaj.zone
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    2 days ago

    Ah, my enemy.

  • Tony Bark@pawb.social
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    2 days ago

  • over_clox@lemmy.world
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    2 days ago

    Are they sure the opossum was dead? I’ve literally seen one play dead for over a week on the side of the road before…

    With that said, I have never felt the urge to defecate on roadkill…

    • SaveTheTuaHawk@lemmy.ca
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      2 days ago

      Because you aren’t Secretary of Health.

    • Illegalmexicant@lemmy.world
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      2 days ago

      You pee on an ant bed and 6 months later you are defecating on road kill

      • 🇰 🌀 🇱 🇦 🇳 🇦 🇰 🇮 @pawb.social
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        2 days ago

        Gateway toilet.

        • AxExRx@lemmy.world
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          2 days ago

          If the possum turns out to be live, it may become a gateway bidet.

      • over_clox@lemmy.world
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        2 days ago

        You’re right, let me go mark the calendar…

    • Archangel1313@lemmy.ca
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      This is the most efficient way of testing whether or not it’s a ruse. Everyone in Florida knows this.

  • BeardedGingerWonder@feddit.uk
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    1 day ago

    A bear and a rabbit are taking a shit in the woods, the bear says to the rabbit “do you have a problem with shit sticking to your fur”

    “No, that’s never been an issue” says the rabbit

    “Good” says the bear and picks up the rabbit and wipes his ass with it.

  • Maeve@kbin.earth
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    Picking…

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