Yep. It all started when I saw some memes on Reddit about what having NPD is really like. They sounded like Me, so I looked the disorder up on the internet. But half the search results, even when I used search terms about support for people with NPD, was about how we’re evil and people want us dead. It’s a big barrier to treatment. And neurotypicals say they want us to get therapy and deal with our emotional difficulties, but they make it impossible to get treatment with all this stigma. I couldn’t find any therapist who specialises in helping people like Me be better. I couldn’t even find advice on exercises I can do at home to work on My problems. I had to work on this stuff alone. I want to be a kinder person, but there’s so much hate trying to drive Me deeper into the pit of bitterness and despair.
Haha, yeah, I realise that. I’m nonbinary, and I have one of those xenogenders where My gender is outside of the male-female spectrum, so I use neopronouns. I’m very aware that My personality disorder, gender, and kintype are all very linked. It’s kind of a chicken-and-egg problem, because which came first? Did parental abuse and genetics combine to give Me NPD as a small child, which influenced how My gender grew as I aged? Or was I born with this gender as My destiny, and did being treated as a boy traumatise Me into developing NPD? It could be either one, or both.
As someone who has grown up around and is related to actual narcissists, shut the fuck up, it’s not anybody else’s shit to have to deal with. It’s a self inflicted condition, you are in complete control. Your brain isn’t broken, you chose to be that way. Grow up. Expecting people to feel sorry for you because you are a narcissist is the most narcissistic fucking card you can play.
You’re kinda both right and wrong, it is a narcissistic card to play, but it also is a real condition often inflicted by parents and/or environment. I’d say you’re more in the wrong, because this is more likely to not be a conscious choice.
Well, I see the point, but even if they do something about it, they will never not be a narcissist. Same as if I am a sober alcoholic, I remain an alcoholic with all the pitfalls of being one even if I evade those
One of the defining traits of NPD is a lack of empathy, which you are exhibiting in spades right now. Do you think personality disorders in general are made up?
I don’t have empathy for monsters. Go ahead and be naive, I’m not going to have a bleeding heart for those who lack the capacity to care about others. They’ve hurt people on purpose, that’s what narcissists do. This person has victims, I know how those victims feel, and I’m not going to concern myself with the feelings of god damned narcissists. Should I start feeling bad for Trump while I’m at it?
It’s not a psychological disorder, no. A psychologist can’t fix it. It is a choice. The only person that can doing anything about your narcissism is you, don’t put it off on someone else. It’s not depression, it’s not autism, there is no chemical imbalances, you just choose to be shitty and you have to choose to stop.
You expecting someone else to be responsible for making you a tolerable person is, yet again, the most narcissistic card you could play.
Narcissistic personality disorder (NPD) is a complex and heterogeneous personality disorder
NPD often involves impaired emotional empathy, superficial relationships, and difficulty tolerating disagreement. It is often co-morbid with other mental disorders and associated with significant functional impairment and psychosocial disability.[1]
Criteria for diagnosing narcissistic personality disorder are listed in the American Psychiatric Association’s Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM)
NPD’s etiology is thought to be largely genetic and neurobiological, with structural and functional brain differences in areas related to self-processing and empathy
A narcissistic personality disorder causes problems in many areas of life, such as relationships, work, school or financial matters. People with narcissistic personality disorder may be generally unhappy and disappointed when they’re not given the special favors or admiration that they believe they deserve. They may find their relationships troubled and unfulfilling, and other people may not enjoy being around them.
Treatment for narcissistic personality disorder centers around talk therapy, also called psychotherapy.
Many people may be familiar with the casual use of the term narcissist, referring to a person who is very self-centered, boastful and hungry for attention and admiration. However, narcissistic personality disorder, a condition described in the DSM-5-TR*, is more severe, persistent and problematic.
While many people may have traits that might be considered narcissistic, that is not the same as narcissistic personality disorder. “Only when these traits are inflexible, maladaptive, and persisting and cause significant functional impairment or subjective distress do they constitute narcissistic personality disorder” (APA 2022)
While research is limited, studies show that people with narcissistic personality disorder can improve, but the improvement is gradual and slow. Several treatments have been developed for the condition and they share common aspects, such as setting clear, realistic goals; attention to relationships and self-esteem; and building- the clinician-patient alliance (Weinberg& Ronningstam, 2022).
All these studies are saying the exact same things I am. There’s nothing wrong with you other than who you choose to be, you have to choose to not be a narcissist. Stop acting like it’s an affliction that was outside of your own motive, take responsibility for your shitty behavior, you’re not deserving of sympathy for being a narcissist. You’re not sick and you’re not broken, do the work.
Narcissism is not a character flaw—it’s a protective response.And diagnosing Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD) is not something we can or should do casually.
When we call someone a narcissist without proper context or diagnosis, we flatten their humanity into a label.
We reduce complex trauma and attachment ruptures into a fixed identity.
And perhaps even more importantly, we cut off the possibility for growth—in ourselves and in the other person.
Healing begins when we are willing to see—not just the behavior, but the wounded humanity beneath it.
Yep. It all started when I saw some memes on Reddit about what having NPD is really like. They sounded like Me, so I looked the disorder up on the internet. But half the search results, even when I used search terms about support for people with NPD, was about how we’re evil and people want us dead. It’s a big barrier to treatment. And neurotypicals say they want us to get therapy and deal with our emotional difficulties, but they make it impossible to get treatment with all this stigma. I couldn’t find any therapist who specialises in helping people like Me be better. I couldn’t even find advice on exercises I can do at home to work on My problems. I had to work on this stuff alone. I want to be a kinder person, but there’s so much hate trying to drive Me deeper into the pit of bitterness and despair.
I appreciate you sharing, and I mean this as a light-hearted comment and not an insult:
You discussing your difficulties in getting NPD treatment while also capitalizing pronouns referring to yourself is 🤌
Haha, yeah, I realise that. I’m nonbinary, and I have one of those xenogenders where My gender is outside of the male-female spectrum, so I use neopronouns. I’m very aware that My personality disorder, gender, and kintype are all very linked. It’s kind of a chicken-and-egg problem, because which came first? Did parental abuse and genetics combine to give Me NPD as a small child, which influenced how My gender grew as I aged? Or was I born with this gender as My destiny, and did being treated as a boy traumatise Me into developing NPD? It could be either one, or both.
As someone who has grown up around and is related to actual narcissists, shut the fuck up, it’s not anybody else’s shit to have to deal with. It’s a self inflicted condition, you are in complete control. Your brain isn’t broken, you chose to be that way. Grow up. Expecting people to feel sorry for you because you are a narcissist is the most narcissistic fucking card you can play.
You’re kinda both right and wrong, it is a narcissistic card to play, but it also is a real condition often inflicted by parents and/or environment. I’d say you’re more in the wrong, because this is more likely to not be a conscious choice.
They’re aware they are a narcissist, by their own admission, it’s a conscious choice now.
Well, I see the point, but even if they do something about it, they will never not be a narcissist. Same as if I am a sober alcoholic, I remain an alcoholic with all the pitfalls of being one even if I evade those
One of the defining traits of NPD is a lack of empathy, which you are exhibiting in spades right now. Do you think personality disorders in general are made up?
I don’t have empathy for monsters. Go ahead and be naive, I’m not going to have a bleeding heart for those who lack the capacity to care about others. They’ve hurt people on purpose, that’s what narcissists do. This person has victims, I know how those victims feel, and I’m not going to concern myself with the feelings of god damned narcissists. Should I start feeling bad for Trump while I’m at it?
So you think narcissistic personality disorder doesn’t belong in the DSM and psychologists shouldn’t treat it?
It’s not a psychological disorder, no. A psychologist can’t fix it. It is a choice. The only person that can doing anything about your narcissism is you, don’t put it off on someone else. It’s not depression, it’s not autism, there is no chemical imbalances, you just choose to be shitty and you have to choose to stop.
You expecting someone else to be responsible for making you a tolerable person is, yet again, the most narcissistic card you could play.
Well, it’s neat to see that Lemmy has an anti-science community who disagree with psychologists.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Narcissistic_personality_disorder
I do disagree. Fix yourself, there’s nothing wrong with you other than the person you choose to be.
Okay, do you mind if I post more sources and quotes from actual health professionals who disagree with you?
https://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/narcissistic-personality-disorder/symptoms-causes/syc-20366662
https://www.psychiatry.org/news-room/apa-blogs/what-is-narcissistic-personality-disorder
All these studies are saying the exact same things I am. There’s nothing wrong with you other than who you choose to be, you have to choose to not be a narcissist. Stop acting like it’s an affliction that was outside of your own motive, take responsibility for your shitty behavior, you’re not deserving of sympathy for being a narcissist. You’re not sick and you’re not broken, do the work.
https://www.alignmentpsychology.ca/post/narcissism-is-not-a-choice-a-deeper-look-through-the-lens-of-attachment