I am a father of two. Wife was working today. It is very warm today, so I wanted to go swimming with my kids. My son was oke. My daughter also wanted to go, but she was on her period. She didn’t want to go swimming in this situation. But for her it is also a very warm day. How can she find cooling? Any tips?
I’m sorry, I have no advice. But I just want to say, you sound like you are an amazing father! Keep being awesome…
I just asked my wife who was a competitive swimmer and still swims often. Her response verbatim:
“I’d just wear a tampon or menstrual cup and still go swimming. I never even noticed it if I just shoved it far enough. Other than that, ice cream, but it has to have brownie chunks or it doesn’t work.”
Something tells me that last bit was more a hint for me though
Sounds like solid advice, but my daughter is not comfortable with tampons (yet). She at least has had some icecream today. But so did my son and I haha
Perfectly understandable if she’s not comfy with tampons yet!
Then I’m going to second the advice of sitting at the edge of the pool with her feet in the water, spray bottles with water, damp compress on the back of her neck, shade/hats. Ice cream is good, too!!
Get the hose! Partially kidding, probably don’t literally hose her down. Maybe get a lawn sprinkler or a slip n slide?
They have those portable misting bars that you hang up somewhere in the shade and hook up to a hose, they’re great,
Not a woman, but water in a spray bottle to mimic sweating cools you down a lot. Sweating is very effective for cooling.
Add one of those handheld battery operated fans and you’re golden.
Some companies have started selling period panties made for swimming, see if you can find some and maybe she can swim comfortably going forward.
There are other ways to play with water, like running through a water spreader, water balloons, water gun fight. She can do all of these with whatever her protection of choice is currently.
You can make popsicles by putting decarbonated soda or lemonade or juice (I like mine a bit watered down) in the freezer. Mini ones with icecube trays (and tooth picks?) or larger ones in trays bought specifically for the purpose (or home invented).
Staying in shade and having a fan for cooling off also helps, but isn’t as fun. Going for a bike ride down a fairly flat and shaded park or forest trail could be more fun way to get some wind.
There is a gas station near me that has a whole side of the store closed in as a massive walk in fridge for drinks. I like to go in and take a really long time choosing a beverage.
Period swim wear exists, but I don’t understand the physics of it or trust it enough to actually go in a pool, but it would be fine in a natural body of water that doesn’t have a white bottom to showcase any under water leaks. Or just for water play outside the pool- sprinklers, hoses, water balloons, etc.
An Ice pack or cool, wet cloth on the back of the neck can cool a person down quickly regardless of their menstruation status.
Do you know what part of swimming was uncomfortable for her? There is no universal rule about not swimming while bleeding, it’s largely cultural or related to the type of product she wants to use (internal vs external). I think understanding what the restriction is will help you understand options.
A splash pad might be an option if she wants to use pads and therefore keep parts of her body dry. Wading pools, sitting on a dock with feet in the water, etc.
Other than that, anything that doesn’t involve submerging the body would work:
- cold compress + fan
- cold fruits
- popsicles lol
Stick some water bottles in the freezer. It’s a great way to cool off your core temperature.
Assuming that people who menstruate = women is somewhat short-sighted, particularly in the fediverse.
OP is a dad trying to help his pubescent daughter be comfortable. I feel like the trans people I know would extend him grace here
This sounds like getting offended just for the sake of getting offended. Surely there’s some room for not requiring 100% precision at all times?
Since JKR’s bullshit it has become increasingly important to get it right.
It’s ignoring that an entire group of people exists, I’m so fucking sorry that attempting to be inclusive is somehow offensive to you.
When it’s people of color, everyone loses their goddamn minds, but when it’s trans people it’s “okay to not be 100% perfect”
Fuck off with this closeted transphobia and admit you just don’t care enough about Trans people to be precise.
Edit: if you’re gonna comment another transphoobia supporting thing, just fuck off or admit you don’t care about trans people and inclusivity, honestly just go to Twitter or whatever trump is on nowadays because you clearly belong there.
Would “females” be a better term? It’s more accurate to be sure, but using the word “females” - in (American) English at least - has a weird connotation that I don’t always like.
“people with vaginas” encompasses everyone regardless of sexual identity, gender assignment, or anything else really.
My spouse is non-binary, has a vagina. Two of my male best friends have vaginas, although one had a historectomy and no longer menstruates. A few other friends have vaginas although I’m not sure if they menstruate anymore. One is gender fluid and has a vagina.
“male/man female/woman” is gendered language, and insisting that only women have vaginas and menstruate is 100% just saying a whole group of people isn’t important enough for consideration, and that is inherently transphobic.
And for the record, yes “female” has a weird connotation in the US because right wing weirdos and incels seem to be unable to say “women” and don’t view women as people.
But can we not do better than “people with vaginas” and “people who menstruate”? Those terms are overly cumbersome and in fact I would argue that they otherize trans people by pointing out the fact that they’re different. Man/woman is gendered but we have lots of other terms for the different gender identities people have. Male/female are “gendered” terms because biological sex is binary.
Bleeders?
Bahaha you win ;) As a bleeder, I respect OP for asking for advice in supporting his daughter. A lot of men are weird about it. Only conversation I had with my dad about it was him yelling at me when I accidentally leaked on the mattress as a teenager.
It wasn’t transphobia. It was directly towards specifically you.
as a trans woman i dont see a problem with this post most woman do menstruate just because im the odd one out doesn’t mean i should be offended when questions like this are asked
The language, like you, are ignoring transmascs.
It’s not designed to exclude anyone and certainly not in mean spirit. I think you would be hard pressed to find many trans people who would find this verbiage offensive. It’s literally a parent asking a group how to support their daughter. Why pick fights when none is happening?
I don’t know any trans people personally. I support trans rights. I could use non inclusive language because I fall back on the default in some unguarded moments. If anyone feels offended by my language I would apologise but I tend to get really defensive when attacked for a slip of the tongue.
I see what you mean but please be patient with us.
Actually if you read this again it goes like this: women of lemmy = people that menstruate. Assuming that women menstruate is a normal assumption. And asking women how to deal with such issues is also perfectly normal and alright.
Normal ≠ okay
It was once normal to call black people by a slur.
It was once normal to backhand a woman for daring to speak around men.
Don’t tell a marginalized group that they’re overreacting for being marginalized and someone comes in and says “it’s normal so shut up about it”
You’re just victimising yourself for no reason. The OP is just asking women because they usually have experience with this and is trying to help their daughter. Asking women for advice does not automatically exlude anyone with a vagina that does not identify as a woman.
Nothing about this post is marginalising anybody. Stop acting like a petulant child.
Also women might have experiences closer to those of OP’s daughter than somevody else who did not always identify as a woman would have. It is a perfectly valid question in the sense of ‘my daughter is having this specific issue -> how did other women deal with it at her age or even now’. None of this line of thinking is excluding the trans or being transphopbic or even anything in the vicinity of that.
Would you react the same way if a mom asked ‘the men of lemmy’ about a specific issue that her son is dealing with as a boy?
I agree with you. There are enough real trans issues out there without picking fights at innocent questions asked in good faith that are completely unrelated. Nowhere was there anything exclusionary in that post. If you look for negativity everywhere you’ll find it but you won’t make any friends and you probably won’t help your cause.
It’s the ‘I like waffles. - Oh so you hate pancakes?!’ fallacy pretty much. Someone says something and then a different person finds something slightly related and spins it in a negative way.
That’s a good way of putting it. It was such a hostile reaction to an innocent parental question like holy Batman.
I’m just glad to see most people agree the response was totally unwarranted and unnecessarily hostile.
Nevermind, I shouldn’t comment on this.
Your first version was funnier for sure xD Your daughter is lucky to have a supportive dad. Thanks for caring.
Would you like me to change the title to “bloody cunts of Lemmy…”?
Ooh come on, you did not have to be snarky like that.
Menstruation is imherently female (binary)
Holy transphobia, batman, they’ve forgotten transmascs exist!
About 25% of my friends are men who menstruate.
You’re conflating biological sex with gender identity. Not all females are women and not all women are females.
Read my other comments here, a large percentage of my friends are transmascs, no binaries, gender fluids, and varying between being capable of menstruating and not, while having vaginas.
I’m not conflating anything, thanks.
I have read them. Your friends are biological females who identify as either men, non-binary, or gender-fluid. And we support that.
Jesus fucking christ, you CANNOT SAY YOU SUPPORT THEM WHILE SPOUTING RIGHT WING RHETORIC
It’s right-wing rhetoric to support people embracing whatever gender identity they are regardless of biological sex?
