I honestly thinks that’s just a part of it; realizing that you don’t have an allegiance to other men just because you’re a man yourself.
I think if woman are willing to talk about men in that way in front of you, it’s generally a sign that they trust you enough to be open about their concerns in front of you without you having to push back. I try to hear the concerns they’re voicing, do a quick internal check (is this me?) and if it’s not, yeah fuck those guys! They’re the worst!
Hmm, I’m personally not sure whether I’d call it an allegiance. As far as I’ve seen, it’s mostly about belonging to the group being talked about.
For instance, in the context of the comic “Men’s egos can sometimes be fragile” would be parsed as “Your ego can sometimes be fragile” leading to an unconscious feeling of being attacked, which ultimately ends up in an emotional defensive response of trying to separate oneself from the group being talked about (“Not all men!”) which, ironically, in this comic’s context, only confirms what’s being said.
This is also how I personally parse that woman and the bear thing. Men see themselves as the “random man” and feel personally attacked when someone picks the bear. Emotional defensive responses ensue.
Nevertheless, I still like the way you phrased it. And asking oneself whether one is what’s being talked about might be a great way to dampen the unconcious response.
The other side of this is that it’s othering a group and yeah it seems cool to other a group that historically and generally has all the power, so it’s “punching up”
Yea I eventually learned how to not get offended by the generalizations, prior to the diagnosis, but the whole “taking it literally” thing took a bit to get over
Honestly it still bothers me. We are told that generalizations and stereotypes are bad, but when they’re directed and white people or men, they’re okay.
Listen, I’m not a #NotAllMen type or anything, but it is a frustrating double standard for those of us who’ve grown up knowing not to stereotype or generalize to then get stereotyped and generalized and be told we can’t complain about it.
I’m aware. Like I said, I’m not a #NotAllMen type. I’m not offended by this comic in the slightest. I laughed at it.
I mean that generally, the double standard can be frustrating. It’s generally okay on the Internet to shit on men and then say, “yeah but I don’t mean you, you’re one of the good ones.” But I’ve learned my whole life that that’s a shitty thing to do.
I’m not sure why you keep talking about the comic. I wasn’t responding to the comic. I was responding to someone talking more broadly about generalization of men. The “honestly it bothers me” didn’t refer to the comic.
The comic is giving context for the conversations here, apologies if I misunderstood. Just wanted to make it clear for the many folk here that have missed that the comic is not generalizing all men.
I honestly thinks that’s just a part of it; realizing that you don’t have an allegiance to other men just because you’re a man yourself.
I think if woman are willing to talk about men in that way in front of you, it’s generally a sign that they trust you enough to be open about their concerns in front of you without you having to push back. I try to hear the concerns they’re voicing, do a quick internal check (is this me?) and if it’s not, yeah fuck those guys! They’re the worst!
Hmm, I’m personally not sure whether I’d call it an allegiance. As far as I’ve seen, it’s mostly about belonging to the group being talked about.
For instance, in the context of the comic “Men’s egos can sometimes be fragile” would be parsed as “Your ego can sometimes be fragile” leading to an unconscious feeling of being attacked, which ultimately ends up in an emotional defensive response of trying to separate oneself from the group being talked about (“Not all men!”) which, ironically, in this comic’s context, only confirms what’s being said.
This is also how I personally parse that woman and the bear thing. Men see themselves as the “random man” and feel personally attacked when someone picks the bear. Emotional defensive responses ensue.
Nevertheless, I still like the way you phrased it. And asking oneself whether one is what’s being talked about might be a great way to dampen the unconcious response.
The other side of this is that it’s othering a group and yeah it seems cool to other a group that historically and generally has all the power, so it’s “punching up”
its still othering and almost bait by design.
“Sometimes men’s egos can be fragile” does not mean that all men’s egos are fragile.
Yea I eventually learned how to not get offended by the generalizations, prior to the diagnosis, but the whole “taking it literally” thing took a bit to get over
Honestly it still bothers me. We are told that generalizations and stereotypes are bad, but when they’re directed and white people or men, they’re okay.
Listen, I’m not a #NotAllMen type or anything, but it is a frustrating double standard for those of us who’ve grown up knowing not to stereotype or generalize to then get stereotyped and generalized and be told we can’t complain about it.
If you’re not the type to generalize or stereotype, then the comic is not talking about you.
It’s not generalizing all men. Just men whose egos are fragile enough to be offended when this type of interaction is pointed out.
I’m aware. Like I said, I’m not a #NotAllMen type. I’m not offended by this comic in the slightest. I laughed at it.
I mean that generally, the double standard can be frustrating. It’s generally okay on the Internet to shit on men and then say, “yeah but I don’t mean you, you’re one of the good ones.” But I’ve learned my whole life that that’s a shitty thing to do.
I’m not offended, I’m not upset.
This comic is not shitting on men. It’s shitting on men who have fragile egos.
I didn’t claim you were upset or offended.
I’m not sure why you keep talking about the comic. I wasn’t responding to the comic. I was responding to someone talking more broadly about generalization of men. The “honestly it bothers me” didn’t refer to the comic.
The comic is giving context for the conversations here, apologies if I misunderstood. Just wanted to make it clear for the many folk here that have missed that the comic is not generalizing all men.
It definitely is generalizing all men by the sentence structure, sometimes “men’s”, which men? Oh just “men” in general.
But otherwise yeah, 100% “some” men’s egos are fragile. Its generalized because it doesn’t make a case to isolate a sub-group of men.
“Sometime men egos can be fragile” is a weird sentence.
Which men? Men whose egos are fragile. You can acknowledge that some men are like that without being one of them yourself.
And if so?