Locking this post as it’s drawing the type of people it’s about like flies to vinegar.
I was never vocal about it but used to be somewhat a “not all men” type of person in my early 20s. At least in my head.
Then I got diagnosed with autism. Turns out I just don’t understand most other men.
I honestly thinks that’s just a part of it; realizing that you don’t have an allegiance to other men just because you’re a man yourself.
I think if woman are willing to talk about men in that way in front of you, it’s generally a sign that they trust you enough to be open about their concerns in front of you without you having to push back. I try to hear the concerns they’re voicing, do a quick internal check (is this me?) and if it’s not, yeah fuck those guys! They’re the worst!
Hmm, I’m personally not sure whether I’d call it an allegiance. As far as I’ve seen, it’s mostly about belonging to the group being talked about.
For instance, in the context of the comic “Men’s egos can sometimes be fragile” would be parsed as “Your ego can sometimes be fragile” leading to an unconscious feeling of being attacked, which ultimately ends up in an emotional defensive response of trying to separate oneself from the group being talked about (“Not all men!”) which, ironically, in this comic’s context, only confirms what’s being said.
This is also how I personally parse that woman and the bear thing. Men see themselves as the “random man” and feel personally attacked when someone picks the bear. Emotional defensive responses ensue.
Nevertheless, I still like the way you phrased it. And asking oneself whether one is what’s being talked about might be a great way to dampen the unconcious response.
The other side of this is that it’s othering a group and yeah it seems cool to other a group that historically and generally has all the power, so it’s “punching up”
its still othering and almost bait by design.
“Sometimes men’s egos can be fragile” does not mean that all men’s egos are fragile.
Yea I eventually learned how to not get offended by the generalizations, prior to the diagnosis, but the whole “taking it literally” thing took a bit to get over
Honestly it still bothers me. We are told that generalizations and stereotypes are bad, but when they’re directed and white people or men, they’re okay.
Listen, I’m not a #NotAllMen type or anything, but it is a frustrating double standard for those of us who’ve grown up knowing not to stereotype or generalize to then get stereotyped and generalized and be told we can’t complain about it.
If you’re not the type to generalize or stereotype, then the comic is not talking about you.
It’s not generalizing all men. Just men whose egos are fragile enough to be offended when this type of interaction is pointed out.
I’m aware. Like I said, I’m not a #NotAllMen type. I’m not offended by this comic in the slightest. I laughed at it.
I mean that generally, the double standard can be frustrating. It’s generally okay on the Internet to shit on men and then say, “yeah but I don’t mean you, you’re one of the good ones.” But I’ve learned my whole life that that’s a shitty thing to do.
I’m not offended, I’m not upset.
This comic is not shitting on men. It’s shitting on men who have fragile egos.
I didn’t claim you were upset or offended.
I’m not sure why you keep talking about the comic. I wasn’t responding to the comic. I was responding to someone talking more broadly about generalization of men. The “honestly it bothers me” didn’t refer to the comic.
It definitely is generalizing all men by the sentence structure, sometimes “men’s”, which men? Oh just “men” in general.
But otherwise yeah, 100% “some” men’s egos are fragile. Its generalized because it doesn’t make a case to isolate a sub-group of men.
“Sometime men egos can be fragile” is a weird sentence.
Which men? Men whose egos are fragile. You can acknowledge that some men are like that without being one of them yourself.
And if so?
Then I got diagnosed with autism. Turns out I just don’t understand most other men.
I was diagnosed with “autistic features” back in the 90s, and i feel that.
On the one hand, yeah. Fragile ass mother fuckers.
On the other hand? You do learn in gender studies that toxic masculine and such is a systemic problem. Boys need hugs and love growing up that they just don’t get, and it produces these soft skinned psychopaths who perpetuate that cycle.
But this is a comics community so it’s fine however you want to interpret it for lols. Lol
My kiddo gets so many hugs lol. It would be hypocritical to be aware of the issues that patriarchy brings and then turn around and let boys fend for themselves. They need support in this dogshit gendered society in addition to girls.
I will hold grown ass men accountable for their actions and unwillingness to do the emotional labor to become a good person though.
100%
I hate sweeping statements in general. I don’t like it when people make general statements about women, men, insert race here. Its dehumanizing. We’re all just people.
The “sometimes” is totally accurate in this comic though.
I haven’t met many people that don’t have a fragile ego, honestly. Criticism is hard :/
I’ve never liked these kinds of attitudes, both against men and women. From the “wife bad” boomer mindset to the toxic “all men are pigs” that I hear people say way too often.
People are people. When it comes to the people I care about, I don’t care what you identify as. I don’t care what society thinks your “role” should be. You are a person just like I am. I’ll treat you the same as I do any other person I care about, because that’s what you deserve.
I’ll see you as the individual you are instead of these useless preconceived notions based purely on what bits you have in your pants.
Everyone who agrees with me proves I’m right. Everyone who disagrees with me proves I’m right.
The patriarchy isn’t gonna like this
We should change toxic masculinity to fragile masculinity cuz thats what it really is
I’ve definitely seen similar discussions around race use the term “white fragility” in a very similar way when you try to talk about things like unconscious or systemic racism or privilege.
Move over Fragile X Syndrome, and make room for Fragile Guy Syndrome. Commonly referred to as The Bitching Disease, look out for the especially virulent subtype Angry White Syndrome which has been known to spread even to those without the Y chromosome and is believed to be caused by a lack of rhythm and a bland palatte.
They are two different things and both definitely exist.
Do you think that the toxicity is an overcompensated reaction to the realization of fragility?
I can’t wait to see all the people from the comic in this comment section.
munching popcorn
Misogyny: people lose their minds
Misandry: pfff, hahahahaha
Is it misandrist to recognize that some men react this way?
What were the odds that all six men in the last panel would be bald?
Only bald men have fragile egos. q.e.d.
No, they can be. The problem is as a man as soon as you show any signs of it you’re made fun of by women and not desirable. There’s a reason guys always say “I’m fine” when asked how they feel, it’s because some woman made fun of them an degraded them when they were honest and they learned their lesson.
Oh what a hot take. “It’s women’s fault men are sad.”
Works all the times
