Yesterday: Nobody gets that anymore, we don’t have to monitor it any more.
Today: Turns out, the reason nobody was getting that, was because we were monitoring it.
NOBODY could have predicted that!
Its like having a functional IT department.
Don’t look up!
That’s because the parasite got into Ole Gravel Gullet’s brain, fucked the dead worm, and then hijacked his last 6 brain cells to make the old bastard his puppet.
that worm, is called HEROIN it destroyed his brain, and he used heroin to drive one of his family members to OD.
Heeey, the less we monitor it, the easier it gets to monitor it. That’s a win win!
The rumor is that this parasite is what killed Lindsey Graham.
It’s a rumor I’m starting, so pass it along.
You’re like the tenth person I’ve heard that from.
Am I helping?
I heard it from the mayor
poor man was so anal retentive that he was full of shit.
It’s why he shit was coming out of his mouth all the time. So full that it constantly backed up. Anal retention is dangerous, kids.
'member when we stopped monitoring pandemic hotbeds like Wuhan? I 'member
Or the flesh-eating screwworm flies?
deleted by creator
and since then every other respiratory illness, we saw a rise in the others on too.
Well, let’s just stop tracking those, too, then; problem solved!
You’ll probably find that the EPA rollbacks we’ve been doing around irrigation laws is what’s causing the issue in the first place. Too much poop in the salad mix.
Exactly why I don’t buy American produce, and strongly advise others against it as well.
I try, but I can’t find some things, like Canadian onions at the stores. :(
wait, haven’t you switched to a beef tallow and raw milk diet yet?
MAGAts are bringing so many good things to America.
We should all be thanking our local magats by getting them fired from their jobs, even if it means lying, and stomping them in the streets
It’s because the worm in his brain is constantly spewing verbal diarrhea.
Brainworm man is pro worm. long live shitworm disease.
We took a personification of disease, and made him Health Secretary. Dafuq did we expect would happen?
Shitting ourselves is far from the worst case scenario here.
One of the four horsemen of the apocalypse, shit, I figured death would be more intimidating though, not just an over privileged moron
He’s clearly Pestilence
I thought they were death, war, conquest and famine, though maybe famine and pestilence go together
You are correct, apparently a lot of media/fiction authors swap conquest to pestilence because they feel like it’s too close to war.
I had to look it up specifically for pestilence because I was so confused how I got the idea.
So yeah I had that wrong, biblical speaking
Pratchett does Death, War, Famine and Pestilence
Thief of time spoiler
(And Kaos)
. Which is where my knowledge of them comes from!
Hehe no worries i had to look it up, I totally remembered pestilence being one instead of conquest
I don’t think they are actually named
They are in the Bible, had to look it up, it looks like popular fiction often replaces conquest with pestilence since conquest and war are so similar
Maybe it’s a Protestant thing? In the Catholic New Testament only death is named
Maybe, I just looked at Wikipedia :D
And the 5th horseman, Kaos (according to Terry Pratchett anyway)
When we said the US were becoming a shithole… we didn’t expect them to become one so literally.
Speak for yourself.
Is there any chance that his brain worm might finish the job? I’ve had enough about hearing of his continuing insanity and would like for him and his boss to go away.
way i hear it, the poor little guy starved to death…
It had died in his brain, from what I remember him having said.
Maybe it laid eggs in there before dying. It’s what I would have done.
Maybe it couldn’t because it died from low-quality food.
Sadly, the “worm” here only means infectious software defect.
Witnessing the fall of an empire in real time
Putin’s trying to out-do us. ‘hold my beer’
GOD BLESS AMERICA [EAGLE SCREECHING SOUNDS IN THE DISTANCE]
SCREEEE FRRRTTTTRTRTRTTTTTT REEEEEEEE FLURRRTTTTABABABABRRRTTTTT PFTTTTTTT EEEEEEEEEEEEEE
The age of men is over. The time of poopie doop has begun.
