Do you know where that word comes from? It started as Narcissus, a teenage boy who was cursed to fall in love with his reflection because he didn’t want to get married. Then psychiatrists used his name for a mental disorder. Then this pop scientist, Christopher Lasch, said the mental disorder is on the rise due to American culture. And a bunch of self help books made money telling you that you’re surrounded by evil… that word. And that’s how it broke into pop culture.
Now, people who have heard the word in pop culture have looked it up, and they’ve landed in all different parts of that history through their research. So some people only know the myth, some people know the mental illness, some people know the pop science. And I’ve talked about different parts of this history, and met people from all three groups saying I’m wrong, and the truth is actually one of those three parts. Some people say it has nothing to do with mental disorders and it’s just a myth. Other people say the people with the mental disorder are evil monsters. It’s all jumbled up. But now you know the whole history, and I encourage you to sit and have a think about all of that, and decide what you think about using the word.
Yep. It all started when I saw some memes on Reddit about what having NPD is really like. They sounded like Me, so I looked the disorder up on the internet. But half the search results, even when I used search terms about support for people with NPD, was about how we’re evil and people want us dead. It’s a big barrier to treatment. And neurotypicals say they want us to get therapy and deal with our emotional difficulties, but they make it impossible to get treatment with all this stigma. I couldn’t find any therapist who specialises in helping people like Me be better. I couldn’t even find advice on exercises I can do at home to work on My problems. I had to work on this stuff alone. I want to be a kinder person, but there’s so much hate trying to drive Me deeper into the pit of bitterness and despair.
Haha, yeah, I realise that. I’m nonbinary, and I have one of those xenogenders where My gender is outside of the male-female spectrum, so I use neopronouns. I’m very aware that My personality disorder, gender, and kintype are all very linked. It’s kind of a chicken-and-egg problem, because which came first? Did parental abuse and genetics combine to give Me NPD as a small child, which influenced how My gender grew as I aged? Or was I born with this gender as My destiny, and did being treated as a boy traumatise Me into developing NPD? It could be either one, or both.
As someone who has grown up around and is related to actual narcissists, shut the fuck up, it’s not anybody else’s shit to have to deal with. It’s a self inflicted condition, you are in complete control. Your brain isn’t broken, you chose to be that way. Grow up. Expecting people to feel sorry for you because you are a narcissist is the most narcissistic fucking card you can play.
You’re kinda both right and wrong, it is a narcissistic card to play, but it also is a real condition often inflicted by parents and/or environment. I’d say you’re more in the wrong, because this is more likely to not be a conscious choice.
Well, I see the point, but even if they do something about it, they will never not be a narcissist. Same as if I am a sober alcoholic, I remain an alcoholic with all the pitfalls of being one even if I evade those
One of the defining traits of NPD is a lack of empathy, which you are exhibiting in spades right now. Do you think personality disorders in general are made up?
I don’t have empathy for monsters. Go ahead and be naive, I’m not going to have a bleeding heart for those who lack the capacity to care about others. They’ve hurt people on purpose, that’s what narcissists do. This person has victims, I know how those victims feel, and I’m not going to concern myself with the feelings of god damned narcissists. Should I start feeling bad for Trump while I’m at it?
It’s not a psychological disorder, no. A psychologist can’t fix it. It is a choice. The only person that can doing anything about your narcissism is you, don’t put it off on someone else. It’s not depression, it’s not autism, there is no chemical imbalances, you just choose to be shitty and you have to choose to stop.
You expecting someone else to be responsible for making you a tolerable person is, yet again, the most narcissistic card you could play.
Narcissistic personality disorder (NPD) is a complex and heterogeneous personality disorder
NPD often involves impaired emotional empathy, superficial relationships, and difficulty tolerating disagreement. It is often co-morbid with other mental disorders and associated with significant functional impairment and psychosocial disability.[1]
Criteria for diagnosing narcissistic personality disorder are listed in the American Psychiatric Association’s Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM)
NPD’s etiology is thought to be largely genetic and neurobiological, with structural and functional brain differences in areas related to self-processing and empathy
A narcissistic personality disorder causes problems in many areas of life, such as relationships, work, school or financial matters. People with narcissistic personality disorder may be generally unhappy and disappointed when they’re not given the special favors or admiration that they believe they deserve. They may find their relationships troubled and unfulfilling, and other people may not enjoy being around them.
Treatment for narcissistic personality disorder centers around talk therapy, also called psychotherapy.
Many people may be familiar with the casual use of the term narcissist, referring to a person who is very self-centered, boastful and hungry for attention and admiration. However, narcissistic personality disorder, a condition described in the DSM-5-TR*, is more severe, persistent and problematic.
While many people may have traits that might be considered narcissistic, that is not the same as narcissistic personality disorder. “Only when these traits are inflexible, maladaptive, and persisting and cause significant functional impairment or subjective distress do they constitute narcissistic personality disorder” (APA 2022)
While research is limited, studies show that people with narcissistic personality disorder can improve, but the improvement is gradual and slow. Several treatments have been developed for the condition and they share common aspects, such as setting clear, realistic goals; attention to relationships and self-esteem; and building- the clinician-patient alliance (Weinberg& Ronningstam, 2022).
Do you know where that word comes from? It started as Narcissus, a teenage boy who was cursed to fall in love with his reflection because he didn’t want to get married. Then psychiatrists used his name for a mental disorder. Then this pop scientist, Christopher Lasch, said the mental disorder is on the rise due to American culture. And a bunch of self help books made money telling you that you’re surrounded by evil… that word. And that’s how it broke into pop culture.
Now, people who have heard the word in pop culture have looked it up, and they’ve landed in all different parts of that history through their research. So some people only know the myth, some people know the mental illness, some people know the pop science. And I’ve talked about different parts of this history, and met people from all three groups saying I’m wrong, and the truth is actually one of those three parts. Some people say it has nothing to do with mental disorders and it’s just a myth. Other people say the people with the mental disorder are evil monsters. It’s all jumbled up. But now you know the whole history, and I encourage you to sit and have a think about all of that, and decide what you think about using the word.
You’ve been called a narcissist more than once, huh?
Yep. It all started when I saw some memes on Reddit about what having NPD is really like. They sounded like Me, so I looked the disorder up on the internet. But half the search results, even when I used search terms about support for people with NPD, was about how we’re evil and people want us dead. It’s a big barrier to treatment. And neurotypicals say they want us to get therapy and deal with our emotional difficulties, but they make it impossible to get treatment with all this stigma. I couldn’t find any therapist who specialises in helping people like Me be better. I couldn’t even find advice on exercises I can do at home to work on My problems. I had to work on this stuff alone. I want to be a kinder person, but there’s so much hate trying to drive Me deeper into the pit of bitterness and despair.
I appreciate you sharing, and I mean this as a light-hearted comment and not an insult:
You discussing your difficulties in getting NPD treatment while also capitalizing pronouns referring to yourself is 🤌
Haha, yeah, I realise that. I’m nonbinary, and I have one of those xenogenders where My gender is outside of the male-female spectrum, so I use neopronouns. I’m very aware that My personality disorder, gender, and kintype are all very linked. It’s kind of a chicken-and-egg problem, because which came first? Did parental abuse and genetics combine to give Me NPD as a small child, which influenced how My gender grew as I aged? Or was I born with this gender as My destiny, and did being treated as a boy traumatise Me into developing NPD? It could be either one, or both.
As someone who has grown up around and is related to actual narcissists, shut the fuck up, it’s not anybody else’s shit to have to deal with. It’s a self inflicted condition, you are in complete control. Your brain isn’t broken, you chose to be that way. Grow up. Expecting people to feel sorry for you because you are a narcissist is the most narcissistic fucking card you can play.
You’re kinda both right and wrong, it is a narcissistic card to play, but it also is a real condition often inflicted by parents and/or environment. I’d say you’re more in the wrong, because this is more likely to not be a conscious choice.
They’re aware they are a narcissist, by their own admission, it’s a conscious choice now.
Well, I see the point, but even if they do something about it, they will never not be a narcissist. Same as if I am a sober alcoholic, I remain an alcoholic with all the pitfalls of being one even if I evade those
One of the defining traits of NPD is a lack of empathy, which you are exhibiting in spades right now. Do you think personality disorders in general are made up?
I don’t have empathy for monsters. Go ahead and be naive, I’m not going to have a bleeding heart for those who lack the capacity to care about others. They’ve hurt people on purpose, that’s what narcissists do. This person has victims, I know how those victims feel, and I’m not going to concern myself with the feelings of god damned narcissists. Should I start feeling bad for Trump while I’m at it?
So you think narcissistic personality disorder doesn’t belong in the DSM and psychologists shouldn’t treat it?
It’s not a psychological disorder, no. A psychologist can’t fix it. It is a choice. The only person that can doing anything about your narcissism is you, don’t put it off on someone else. It’s not depression, it’s not autism, there is no chemical imbalances, you just choose to be shitty and you have to choose to stop.
You expecting someone else to be responsible for making you a tolerable person is, yet again, the most narcissistic card you could play.
Well, it’s neat to see that Lemmy has an anti-science community who disagree with psychologists.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Narcissistic_personality_disorder
I do disagree. Fix yourself, there’s nothing wrong with you other than the person you choose to be.
Okay, do you mind if I post more sources and quotes from actual health professionals who disagree with you?
https://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/narcissistic-personality-disorder/symptoms-causes/syc-20366662
https://www.psychiatry.org/news-room/apa-blogs/what-is-narcissistic-personality-disorder
Words can have multiple meanings, and change meanings over time.