“I don’t accept any mistakes on a forklift. And I expect them even less when you’re working forced overtime, because the longer you’re operating the forklift at a time the deeper your focus should be”

the vile shitbag warehouse manager who paid a lot of money to repaint all our forklifts just so she could scream at us about the tiniest scuffs.

fuck you Jean, but also thank you for radicalizing me

“The reason they call them “flu shots” and not “flu vaccines” is because they aren’t vaccines.”

I’m still reeling. I’m still trying to process how someone that I otherwise respect can say something so phenomenally stupid

I’m amazed by some of the shit that falls out of my own mouth sometimes.

This happened a while ago. A guy started a war half way across the globe and caused major problems for himself and most of the worlds population. He tried to pretend he won that war, but he didn’t. Starting a war for no reason, or worse, to deflect from some embarrassing crimes he committed, is the dumbest thing I have ever heard.

Why do we need satellites? when we have eyes to see it ourselves.

I had a community college psychology professor who worked in psychiatric research outside of teaching ask the class, “What is the shape of consciousness? What do you think it is?” He put a clever look on his face and his eyes scanned every perplexed student in the room to see if anyone could produce the simple, obvious answer to the question, “What is the shape of consciousness …”

Finally he broke the suspense and enlightened us all. The shape of consciousness, according to a man who holds a license to practice medicine, is an oval. It’s an oval because you have two eyes and therefore your field of vision is elliptical.

“The free market will come up with a solution.”

some people still believe in the moon landing is faked, subsequently any of the news that reported on spaceflight. i know some asian people that believe this sitll.

Just now…

In a leftist bookstore, talking with the proprietor who has an extensive collection of left-wing labor/union literature, and randomly he starts talking about how Lincoln was the worst president etc. and just launches into lost cause mythology of the Confederacy. Hardest conversational 180 I’ve ever experienced

Some old lady was over fir dinner and she asked me why i only eat certain things. I told her that i don’t eat meat. It took some time for her to compute and fired back: but you can eat fish. I said, no, because they are animals too. You could see the gears spinning again before she said that banger: i don’t think that’s true, because they don’t even bleed.

Whatever Donny tweeted most recently.

My father told me I shouldn’t use regular table salt because “they” were mixing powdered glass in so that it would work its way through your system and embed itself in your heart muscles.

He had called me after I got high though, so I gave him the best kid glove treatment I’ve ever managed.

Told him that was very interesting. Explained that he could easily prove and expose the conspiracy by pouring salt into a bucket of distilled water. The salt would dissolve, but the glass would sink to the bottom. He could then filter the glass out, then boil the water off to recover the salt safely. He hasn’t brought it up since.

My dad is a sweet guy and good at handyman stuff, but dear lord, almost nothing higher level. I truly think it’s the lead exposure.

A coworker got drunk at an office party, telling me "Then I can’t drive, so when I ask Caroline from marketing to drive me home, she can’t say no. wink, wink
When that predictably failed, he drove home drunk.

“If democrats want to make the vaccine free because it’s ‘life saving’, why come they don’t want to make cancer treatment free too???”