Know a guy.
Been aware of this unwritten rule for a number of years. The people who ask me for help do not. They insult the tradition by trying to give me money…stunch refusal gets me strange looks but invites to weekend bbqs.
pretty smart move in retrospect - “eternal and obligatory friendship is the only currency I trade in”
As a Japanese person, my first reaction was, “That sounds exhausting.” I’m genuinely curious, though. Is this something most Americans enjoy, or is it one of those social expectations that not everyone is actually comfortable with?
Definitely not something I’ve heard of. This is either very old school America (50-80s) or something done in very small towns where everyone knows one another.
That said, this is definiely something I know friends would do for each other. Truck or not. You have some boys over to help move some stuff around, you cook or grab food for them an pay the bill. But you gotta be pretty good friends for me to call you up like that (or vice versa).
Your comment resonates with me.
For me too sometimes, but this is what it takes to build a community.
Your plans may suddenly take a turn, but in exchange, you get helping hands for whatever you need to do - and a sense that whatever happens, you know the folks
It feels like something that has been lost in today’s society, and unfortunately, it seems difficult to regain it at this point. I don’t know where this difference came from.
I think that Kevin and Tony probably don’t even think about this, they lived their entire live that way. They don’t know any better.
Here in Germany, if you want to move a sofa, you have three options:
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Rent a transporter (no one here has a truck), park it illegally in front of the house while onloading the sofa, transport the sofa, park the car again illegally while unloading it. If the police catches you or a neighbor files a complain, you may have to pay a fee.
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File a form so that someone puts up traffic signs for that day that no one except you may park in front of the two houses. Costs around 90 € and takes 3 weeks. Rent car, proceed as usual. Someone will see that you park in a “no parking” zone and does not know that you requested that zone, so he will file a report. Therefore, later, fill some more forms to battle that claim.
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Do 1) at night where no one sees you or cares.
(This is of course highly exaggerated. Parking is not such a problem in every city.)
That’s interesting. I always thought Europe was more relaxed about things like that. In Japan, at least, you’re generally allowed to stop temporarily while loading or unloading furniture, so this surprised me.
That’s probably because japanese residental streets are often very narrow. At least that’s how it is in the animes.
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It’s one of those social expectations not everyone is comfortable with. I think it comes from a good place though. It’s essentially community sourced mutual aid. For lack of, you know, easy access to aid from society as a whole.
Someone just invented the concept of community
This sure did sound homely. And a life in a bygone era.
I live in the other part of America where you just hire someone.
When I talk about hiring someone, many people in other America nearly gasp.
I have a truck. I know at least two other people with trucks. Once the pizza is offered, and maybe some beers if it’s a big job, we’re there. It’s the truck code.
This is anarchy in the usa
This is the most American thing I have read in my life. I have lived for more than half a century, some of it in several different US states.
Seriously, if anyone asks what the US is like, show them this post. It’s perfect.
Is this that communism/neighborhood community thing everybody keeps talking about?
Yeah, I was Tony last week. But instead of pizza I was paid in beer. Good deal, would do again
I fix people’s computers in exchange for food.
Printers, I execute for free.
Oh shit. Oh no.
Im that guy who fixes small engines and computers.
My condolences
My cousin has become Kevin. She got a big old van for her 2 kids. It has split duty now. Although she doesn’t do any of the moving and the price is a full tank of gas.
At today’s gas prices you could get professional movers and still buy yourself a pizza afterwards :(
Oh, she rarely lets it get below half. She’s not trying to fleece us.
I fucking love these.
My favorite is the Waffle House: https://wandering-nobunaga.com/stories/a-waffle-house-at-three-in
There is more?! Thank you for linking this!
I am the guy with the truck.
The truck is proof that Americans can and will accept socialism.
It’s brocialism.
A.k.a. community
"What if we had a system where people could get the assistance they need. We could call it… Communityism.
But see, it’s not fair if people just get what they need! You need to make sure people are paying for it!
We can make it part of the system that each person gets help according to their needs, but each person also gives help according to their abilities. Yes yes. This is now definitely capitalism because it’s transactions.
It’s not really capitalism without the involvement of capital, is it? It’s more akin to a trade-and-barter-economy/society, where everyone involved should have a high level of faith in others
I’m pretty sure they were referring to From each according to his ability, to each according to his needs which most definitely is not capitalism lol, it’s a joke
TIL, thx
This is now definitely capitalism because it’s transactions.
Capitalism has nothing to do with transactions. Capitalism would be if the truck was owed by Benny, who would not show up, not fill it up with gas, not repair it, but would still receive half of pizza and 2/3 of beer.
I’m pretty sure they were referring to From each according to his ability, to each according to his needs which most definitely is not capitalism lol, it’s a joke
This is now definitely capitalism because it’s transactions.
I get the rest of the comment dude, its the last sentence that is problematic.
I am also the guy with the truck. But I do not drive 5-speed manual very well. So the truck lives at the house of my friend who is good at driving manual. He’s kind of my Tony, I guess. The truck is indeed a community resource of anyone we are decent friends with.
The crazy part is it doesn’t matter who you voted for, everyone on both sides would generally love to help their neighbor and would offer a hand. It’s just when people get involved in the macro sense that they get filled with hate and anger. Makes me sad. Let’s just all move couches.
Conservatives are often nice to people they know. The in-group. The problem is when it’s a scary other. So they’ll let Jose couch surf for a week while he sorts out his housing situation, because he’s a good guy down on his luck, but they’ll rage against Those People getting anything.
Because they are chudservatives , they are only nice to people they know and like
They are hateful to people they don’t know and don’t like, people who don’t have the same opinions, and people who don’t hold the same beliefs
That’s my understanding too. It’s like empathy just ends at one’s own line of sight. If I can’t see it or touch it, there may be something wrong with it. It’s infuriating.
Can we do that without the latent ableism that comes along with it, like the idea that if you can’t help people move couches then you don’t deserve anyone else’s help either?
This especially effects people with invisible disabilities, who are already viewed as lazy, but who also might be the most helpless when it comes to moving their own furniture.
I think it’s kind of ablist to assume a disabled person has nothing of value to offer, like if they can’t move a couch then they are excluded. “Moving a couch” could be anything, it could be filing taxes or cooking a meal. Disabled people are good at stuff too. I think it’s really weird for you to make this assumption.
Honestly it’s both. Plenty of people with disabilities have plenty to offer. A lot actually don’t though, and they still deserve that helping hand.
A family aquatintance has some mental and physical disabilities. They’re just not going to be able to help in any way that isn’t superficial. And that’s okay. Their worth isn’t defined by their utility.Attaching how worthwhile it is to help someone to their ability to provide a service inherently says the person who can’t isn’t worthy of help.
We should be good to people because it’s the right thing to do, not out of the expectation of a future repayment. More pragmatically, we should help based on the assumption that the other person would, and that if everyone acted like that the world would be better.
I think the other person read a bit much into it, but their base point isn’t wrong.
What I think is ableist is that you would try to pretend that disabled people don’t get excluded due to society devaluing the things they can offer.
It’s also ableist for you to suggest that a disabled person should be expected to file someone else’s taxes if they need help moving furniture.
You just gave a master class in missing the point.
The same way it isn’t about the couch, it isn’t about the taxes
To each according to their means, to each according to their needs was
Or in brocialism terms “Autism be damned my boy can work a grill”
Every metaphor breaks down if you read it at face value
My partner has disabilities and so they do not help lift the sofa. But they are a lot better at driving a manual truck than I am, so with a few pillows and adaptations in the driver’s cab that is what they do when someone needs a sofa moved. Some disabilities prevent you from driving the truck too, but it’s important as a group of sofa movers to make sure that everyone has something they can fulfill, even if that means planning the move. That can be incredibly helpful.
Anecdotes and exceptions don’t justify the erasure of marginalia.
Like, why don’t all blind people just become famous musicians so that they can be rich? Ray Charles did it.
No one in their right mind would think that means blind people don’t require assistance/accomodations.
Your partner has disabilities but can drive a stick shift? Great. I guess the rest of us disabled people just need to bootstrap a little harder?
You better come with some jokes then. When I’m moving some bulky furniture upstairs and really not having a good time, sometimes a well-timed joke is exactly what we need to drop it and injure ourselves.
Was this supposed to be an attempt at a joke?
If you want to be included by people, try to be less of a dick.
This isn’t me talking about the wider disabled community, of which I am part of, when I say this btw, this is me talking to you.
Okay, while you’re jerking off the dicks driving big-ass little-dick trucks, I guess I’ll try being nicer to those assholes while they honk their horns at pedestrians, double-park or park on crosswalks, and all that other shit that they do and everyone knows they do because they’re doing it in big-ass trucks and it’s not subtle.
Especially the ones rolling coal and flying trump flags. Should I try to be less of a dick to them to? I don’t want to be included in whatever they’ve got going on. I certainly would never ask one to help move furniture. Their trucks are only for show anyway…
Are you in a lot of pain or in withdrawel or something? I’m struggling to understand where all this self victimising vitriol is coming from otherwise.
Yes, being disabled sucks, yes most people also suck, and everything is also fucking awful everywhere most of the time, and that sucks too.
But this is a comment section under a lighthearted post about moving furniture, so there’s obviously something else going on that has you so upset.
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We do socialism all the time.
Neighbors bring each other gifts. Friends feed one another. Someone is struggling and we give them what they need, no questions asked.
That’s not really socialism, given that it is not universally distributed but depends on one’s social connections. A socialist system would have impersonal mechanisms for catching those who fall through the cracks due to not knowing enough people to ask for and repay favours. (And those people do exist: “everyone knows a guy with a truck” except perhaps for a socially isolated shut-in or someone who does not speak the language, or someone who does not fit in with the community in their truck catchment radius.)
Yeah, in this case “everyone” literally just means “everyone who’s visible within my social radius.”
It completely erases everyone else, like the types of people you mentioned. It’s very in-group focused, and bears uncanny parallels to the fascist idea that outsiders don’t matter.
Technically, that’s no socialism though, because it’s not government enforced.
Can confirm. Until I threw my back in my forties, I was Tony.
I threw my back helping someone move an exercise machine. For someone else.
A pizza is the price. Two toppings is typical, or the everything special.
For a while I was also the guy with the cordless drill you could borrow.
Non-toxic Masculinity
Except women also have those connections.
The price may be different, like a baby blanket for their neice.
Absolutely
