I grew up in the north woods and I remember my grandma warning us very sternly, on multiple occasions, about being on the look out for black bears with cubs. She would say something along the lines of, “If you see a mama bear with cubs, you best scram and make a show out if it because you’re in her territory and she will always see you as a threat.”
Black bears will avoid humans unless you startle or corner them. Hippos, on the other hand, see humans as a threat and happen to be 2+ tons of sheer malevolence.
Let’s go to this dangerous fucking territory for our honeymoon despite multiple warnings about momma hippo mega beast who is multiple tons of pure muscle, so much muscle she can’t even float. She’s rearing her cubs and we’re gonna piss her off because I need those Instagram likes, a creature that could fuck up a school bus for funsies and be shocked when it knocks my guts out. Then I’m gunna write an expose about the beauty of nature, my wife tackling it fruitlessly like a gnat fighting a honey badger, and this was totally unexpected/expected situation. Gods these people are stupid.
There is no mention of social media, being shocked other than actual medical shock, exposé’. Very little mention of beauty of nature, no multiple warnings. The wife part of the story doesn’t seem all that unlikely if she did indeed hit it and it did indeed drop him. It may have been going to happen the samr way without her but who is to know, maybe the hippo realised two threats would endanger the cubs and retreated to protect them.
Comments like these are just captain hindsight iamverysmart territory. Humans have looked to be close and explore nature since time began, before instagram but you got yourself so upset you created a new narrative.
We used to go tubing down a tributary of the Congo river in, what was then, Zaire. A month after we left the area, another tuber was dragged under the water and drowned. If you get hippo warnings, don’t go.
So did my wife! (I have a serious weight problem.)
I hope it gets better.
Jokes aside, it is! I’m back on intermittent fasting and have lost 10 pounds in the last month!
Nice! Not to be that guy, but have you tried combining it with keto? That combo helped me lose 80-plus pounds.
Hey that’s great. Keep it up 💪
“What’s the Wildest euphemism for sex with your husband you can think of?”
Headline:
I wrote a reenactment.
“There’s a dangerous mother hippo in the area.”
“Well, we’re here to see plants, not hippos. Should we cancel?”
“Of course not. We’d have to give the money back. We’ll just stay away from it when we go to where it is in our tiny, flimsy boats.”
“It’s right there. I’m going to take a picture instead of paddlAAAAAAAGH-“
Some people watch horror movies and think, “Why don’t they just leave?” or “Why would they go there in the first place?” Others apparently start booking flights.
These anime titles are really getting weird aren’t they
Sir, you might be in the wrong forum. This is an emo song.
no you’re in the wrong forum, this is clearly a death metal song!
/j
Huh, I thought it was a bluey episode
Pretty sure it’s a Japanese adult video title.
And all I got was this lousy t shirt
That seems… Less than ideal.
Maybe don’t fuck around near hippos. 🤦
The article states that they did not engage the hippo and tried to stay away. They also never blamed the hippo for displaying their natural behavior by attacking them. Shit happens.
They were warned it was there and even spotted it themselves, yet drifted away from the group and were subsequently attacked by a protective mother.
That’s deff not the hippos fault, that’s on whoever was captaining the canoe.
Don’t fuck around near hippos.
Neither I nor the people who got attacked blamed the hippo. They were on a guided tour with other people and tried to avoid coming too close. I would say that you would expect to be relatively safe when being guided by people who deal with such situations regularly. Such things can just happen. I would not blame them for being too reckless
Dumbasses. FAFO.
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what a golden headline
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No photos of blood. Fake.
Hippos don’t bleed.
They were told there was a mother hippo… Fucking white people.
This has nothing to do with their skin colour you racist fuckwit.
Am white and only privileged white people would be in this situation AND write so nonchalantly about it. Deal with it.
I’ve seen plenty of incidents like this with non-white people.
Link the articles.
Nah this is a privilege thing, not a white thing. I know a lot of privileged people of every race and nationality, the idiocy transcends race.
Are you under the impression that saying “deal with it” will, as if by incantation, alter reality to make you correct?
Yeah only white people can go on holiday. Do you even think before you comment?
It’s always interesting to see what people infer from a statement.
If I was told there was a mother hippo fucking white people, I would have to get close enough to take a look.
Who wouldn’t want to watch some hipporn
I see what you did there. And I love it.
