Funny cat image as a reward for opening the post
My cat decided to live at a neighbor’s 3 doors down. One day I thought “I’ll invite her to the barbecue party”. Six years later, we’re married and have a 2 year old boy (and five more cats).
That cat knew what it was doing.
That is delightful. I hope you occassionally call that cat, “wingman”,
Oh, I got a good one. I started leaving earlier and driving slower. It’s way safer and I get great mileage. It’s also more relaxing to not be so worried about making good time.
I don’t drive yet so I don’t really get why mileage is important. Is it because you’re getting money back for fuel or is it just so you feel justified in paying to keep a car? Or is it more healthy for a car to get more driving in?
You’ve already paid for the gas that’s in your tank, best you can do is get the most miles out of it. Long term habits that increase overall average MPG also reduce wear and make parts last longer. Biggest thing is not speeding up when you see a red light ahead.
Ever since I started thinking this way, I started finally seeing all the other cars scurrying past me to get to the same red light that we all stopped at. It compounds the calming effect to see validation through others demonstrating the futility of what I no longer choose to do.
edit: To be clear, I’m not saying I totally drag ass and block traffic. I’m just talking about smoothing out my acceleration curves a bit and the occasional person who zips around everyone else, only to hit a stoplight with the rest of us. I’m not that old yet.
Oh I’m definitely in the slow category, according to the cars behind me.
Don’t get me wrong, I do the speed limit, and heck still sometimes the appropriate “5 over” if there’s cars behind me.
But that’s not enough for most people, they race around me anyway.
But more than just not speeding up when I see the red light, I watch the light from farther away. It’s very flat here, and if you pay attention you can see the light turning from 10 or 20 seconds away, and adjust appropriately. You can even time the light to know it’ll turn red before you get there.
I’m not counting seconds or anything, it’s more of a vibe check. “That light has been green a looong time, it’s definitely turning red before I get there.”
So depending on who’s behind me and ahead of me and how far away I am, I’ll either start coasting down to maybe 5 or 10 under as I approach, that way I can use my brakes even less.
I get pretty good at it with the lights on my way to work. But some lights are un-timable. Their timing is almost purposely designed to waste gas.
And one stretch of lights changes depending on time of day to create a unidirectional flow of traffic. You’ll hit every green going south at 3pm, but every red going north. Stuff like that.
Using brakes is wasted gas, lost efficiency. I get a whole 5 or 6 more mpg driving my wife’s car, than when she drives it. Maybe more. Every time I drive it I watch the average tick up. For her it hovers around 25/26. I’ve seen over 31 in the same car.
Again I’m not the guy who painfully slowly accelerates, angering everyone. I know how to stand on the pedal when I need to. I just pay attention, and accelerate and brake maybe a little more smoothly.
If you accelate hard, drive fast, etc, you get lower gas mileage.
So if you drive 1000 miles per month, and you’re getting 25 miles per gallon, then at $4/gallon you’re paying $160 for gas a month. If you ease up and can average like 32mpg, you’ll only spend $125. Better results may be possible.
I was bored as hell, sitting in a hotel room with literally nothingbto do for three days (waiting to get my passport back from visa processing), so I looked up the phone number of someone I used to know before we moved to opposite ends of the country years ago. I ended up getting an invite to a discord, and we now have two nights per week set aside for gaming together. Not just him, but the others on the discord too, so I’m not as socially isolated anymore.
And when there’s no gaming going on, just hanging out in VoIP is still nice. I might be baking stuff in blender or perl, while someone else is painting minifigs or planning a D&D campaign. It’s not easy having a social life when I’m a family man with four kids, living in the middle of nowhere with no shared interests with anyone nearby. This is my remedy.
looked up the phone number of someone I used to know before we moved to opposite ends of the country
Your comment reminds of… like… I just realized I haven’t really directly talked to my aunts or cousins in China for…
well the entire time I’ve been in the US… like nearly 2 decades
idk why, I never really felt an attachment… don’t have much memories of them, I was only 8 when my family left…
Now it feels too awkward to suddenly call them…
Call them. Yes, it’s probably gonna be awkward, but well worth it.
For that I’m gonna need to make a WeChat account…
Might need to use a separate phone for opsec purposes 👀 (you know why)
Feels like too much of a hassle… and like its not like I feel safe to just speak freely…
Mom and older brother is going back to visit (like right now), and mom told me to not send her any political stuff or she’ll block me…
Like I’m just so used to how things work in the west, I’m gonna have to run every sentence through my brain like can I actually say this and not get them in trouble
About 15 years ago I decided not to be in a hurry when I’m driving, and also to not get frustrated with any other drivers. I just figured I’m gonna be spending too much time of my life in a car I might as well not be getting upset about it. For aggressive drivers I make up a story about how they have explosive diarrhea or something else urgent to attend to. It has made a profound and permanent improvement to my life. Would recommend to a friend.
I did this too. Amazing how you still end up arriving at almost the same time as when you drove like a maniac hey?
I think it’s made me more flexible with time in general. But yeah stoplights and traffic matter more than how you drive. It’s futile to think you can go any faster, just enjoy the ride.
You can add crying kids in the car to your excuses, because that’s the only time I am speeding nowadays.
I’m an Uber driver currently and this approach is vital for sanity/happiness/tips. I drive borderline grandma-style now and have gotten more than one compliment for the smooth trip, etc.
Stopped drinking soda. The weight just fell off
I just crave the carbonation. Zero sugar or even just sparkling water is good by me.
Yeah, sparkling water with a dash of lemon juice is great for me. Very refreshing and basically no sugar or calories.
Same, but with beer. Lost nearly 15kg+ in a year without even trying.
beer has sugar in it, im not surprised. also it does something wierd with your liver and insulin as well(the alcohol.)
This is my biggest thing I need to change in my life currently. I’ve been told so many times now that the weight I’m holding on to is most likely still due to the soft drinks and sugary energy drinks I consume way too much of
I was able to stop sodas a number of years ago, and now the thought of drinking one makes me nauseous. A helpful crutch are those Ciao San Pellegrino’s, they have a tiny bit of sugar that makes them immensely more satisfying than other flavored sparkling waters. I keep my fridge stocked with the cherry and blood orange
same here with soda, just the sickly sweet taste of soda is overpowering.
Try to replace it with black coffee or tea of some sort. There’s a nice bulk store near me that sells really cheap but delicious instant coffee by the gram. IIRC sodas have caffeine in them which makes them ab it addictive, withdrawals only last a few days though.
I went cold turkey and just started drinking only water. But if thats not an option for you, you could also just switch to sugar free.
sparkling water, i mostly drink that or unsweetened teas.
What if you put fiber in your soda?
I have tried that a few times, but can never make it last. Sparkling water doesn’t do it for me and sugar-free gives me gastro issues. I think I accidently made cokes my emotional support food. Does anyone have any tips?
I made the conscious decision to mask my autism less in private and stand up for my needs more openly.
6 months later my wife left me, telling me she can’t take it anymore.After she had moved out and I realized this was final, a great wave of relief washed over me.
Now I have to pay the rent alone, pay her $1k/month in alimony on top, and somehow still have more money left over than during the marriage, lol.
And I got to keep the cats!Why do you have to pay her?
She called in sick for weeks at her new job after the separation, got fired, and now has no income.
The state doesn’t pay her any unemployment support because we’re still married.
(Divorce is only possible after 1 year of separation.)
As her husband, I’m legally forced to give her 3/7 of the difference between our net incomes.
And since she doesn’t have any income, that’s 3/7 of my total net income.That’s fascinating. Hope she’s doing okay and grows from the experience, and I’m glad you can live without masking now
Out of interest (because I’m neurodivergent) what kind of things bothered her when you unmasked? Or was the seperation just not related to unmasking?
It was related, but that wasn’t the main reason.
Divorce is only possible after 1 year of separation.
Oof. If I may ask, in what kind of backwards country do you live in?
Germany.
That rule prevents a lot of abuse of marriage laws (like “marrying” before a large windfall income to save taxes, then immediately “divorcing” again).
It gives couples time to fix their marriage if possible, before all of the legal ramifications take effect.
Or to separate their goods, get legal council, plan moving out, etc. if it isn’t fixable.
And the mandatory alimony payments allow the partner who cared for the household to leave their (possibly abusive) spouse without becoming destitute.
I wonder what makes you think it’s backwards?I stand corrected and must admit that is has its uses
Did a sleep study. I was diagnosed with sleep apnea about a month ago because of it and got a machine. Now even if I have a short sleep, I feel more rested that I ever did sleeping a full 8 or even 9 hours.
damn, does it really make that much of a difference? how does it feel now with the machine?
my doctor and i suspect i have sleep apnea. I’ll lose up to like 2 hours of sleep per night from micro-awakenings (so out of 8 hours “slept” ill get only 6 hours of actual sleep), but ive been putting off a proper sleep study for a few months now. ive been starting to wonder how it feels to actually be rested for once
For me it did. After doing the sleep study I found out I have a moderate case, around 18 awakenings per hour. After using the machine it’s down to one an hour.
The day I got the machine I was pretty tired so I decided to take a nap. Not unusual for me and normally when I nap it lasts about an hour. I put the mask on and slept for four hours immediately and my partner at the time said that she couldn’t even wake me up. I couldn’t remember having such an amazing sleep before.
I can second this. I have my CPAP for about a year now. I had 66(!) sleep interruptions per hour. Yes, the mask can be awkward especially in the beginning. But the result is absolutely worth it. When I woke up after my first night it was such an enormous difference!
Mind you, not everyone may feel such a difference immediately. It may take a few nights or even weeks.
6 years ago: messaging a person on reddit. Tomorrow is our wedding
Started putting powdered fiber in my morning coffee and now I have fantastic poops. I also bought a bidet which is nice too.
This person’s butt is living a life of luxury
Real talk, do you get hella gassy and if so how do you deal with it? I’ve been making an effort to eat more fiber and it’s created levels of gas that has me concerned that the US might bring me democracy soon.
First off, if you make a change to a higher fiber diet, you’re likely to have increased flatulence while your gut microbiota acclimates. Second, there are different fiber sources that each person may respond differently to. Personally, some legumes will make me gassy no matter how I cook them, but when I throw a serving of psyllium husk in whatever I’m eating, I have no problem.
You may have an intolerance to certain foods. Look up low FODMAP diet. Certain types of food can fermented in the gut and make tou gassy/bloated. Ive found that I dont have an issue with wheat, but switching to lactose-free dairy and avoiding onions has helped me immensely.
I’ll check that out, I already do dairy-free except cheese and butter but I will be damned if I avoid onions.
I got hacked on Facebook (2018), stopped using Instagram (2019), quit Reddit (2023) & Xitter (2025).
Now I have only books (lots of audiobooks), Google Keep (own thoughts and pics), Lemmy (random thoughts), and Bluesky (microblog).
My input and output are much healthier, the people I interact with (when actually people) are nicer, and I generally don’t feel doomed.
Well, yes, I realize the world is fucked, fucked up, and fucking crazy. I’ve reduced by orders of magnitude how toxic it is to my headspace because I’m cutting out the worst of the dreck and engaging with more objectively real information. I’m not in screaming echo chambers populated in the millions. I’m happy if I get 10 responses to a post. Updoots are incidental.
Its like leaving L.A. to settle down in Schitt’s Creek.
I started some kind of anime themed browser game one day with the intent of wanting to see what kind of people would play such weeb trash.
Turns out the kind of people to play that were loyal friends to stay in touch with for over a decade and my future wife, too!
joined an “adult band program” at a music school.
after being vaguely musically inclined since early childhood, 24 years of playing bass, 20 years guitar, six years seriously on keyboards, I’ve only ever really played by myself along to music that I like.
after a few months rehearsing with the group weekly and taking weekly keyboard lessons, I played four songs on keyboard on stage at a bar with the group. Feels like a monumental leap forward for me. I’m still basically just covering other peoples’ music, but now with others and having a blast doing it. This next round I’m also doing a few songs on bass on top of doing some songs on keys.
And now one of the folks from that group invited me to join his band outside of the music school.
Lines up so well with losing my job and having a lot more free time. Keeps me feeling good about myself, gives me stuff to look forward to. And helps me not just wallow in grief and avoidance after our beloved dog of 12 years died late last year (been almost six months and I still cry almost every night thinking about him).
Can’t recommend this “adult band program” sorta thing enough if you got some ability with a guitar, bass, synth, drums, or vocals! I’m doing it through a local School Of Rock franchise but there’s other places that do the same sorta thing
Slept with a drinking Buddy from university. We have three adorable kids now.
Triplets from a one-night stand is crazy unlucky
Posted a personal ad on Cragslist; ended up married.
Seriously? What year!?
Literally like 3 months or so before Craigslist removed the personal ads section entirely.
At some point my struggle with the bible culminated in me making my own conclusion away from anyone else: I am done with this god.
The following years I reclaimed my life.
