And dont forget the copper cables lining the walls, powering the systems. Absolute treasure trove in there.
I heard of a guy who not only sold the copper but also the palladium and gold and made a fortune. Now he drives a Mercedes.
I’d do it for a Ford.
Shit, if they’re as noisy as I hear some of the AI ones are, I’d do it for some god damn peace and quiet.
As someone who has actually had to service gear inside an equinox data center I’ll tell you this: mostly unstaffed yes but more secure than a bank. I had I think six layers of security to get through including badge readers, man traps, palm scanners and combination locks.
The new ones for AI etc. are nowhere near a bank level security.
Pretty easy to knock a hole in a concrete slab wall and have full access to the goods if somebody wanted too.
Looking at them I’m not even sure you’d need to break concrete, I’m pretty certain they’re thin wall steel construction. A circular saw would make a nice doorway.
What is a man trap?
Apparently this:
Mantrap: “Fool, no man can escape me!”
Eowyn: pulls off her helmet
What I’m reading is “bring a bottle jack” and just pry the thing in half.
So an airlock?
Basically, but man traps are not usually airtight or even have a pressure differential. Usually just a room that can only be opened externally and only one exit can be opened at a time.
Sus
Correct
Absolutely should not tell people that fire is its weakness, and damaging data centers hurts insurance companies more because of equipment replacements, and rebuilding structures costs + manpower and whatnot.
Don’t fire them until after you’ve taken the ram
Uh, or not I am too high to backwards words that
they’re also filled with gpus…
Not gaming GPUs though.
A commom mistake bank robbers make is that they take more gold than they can carry, stuff is heavy. I feel GPUs are similar in their value to weight ratio, RAM is much lighter and easier to take a lot of. Imagine the value of a backpack full of GPUs vs one full of RAM sticks.
screw gpus, ram, you want the ram
Por que no los dos?
No, you can load up a couple of clusters like 2 to 5 in a pickup, a cluster of 8 in a rack is about a small fridge, but worth 300-400k and easily resealable.
Also don’t tell anyone about huge amounts of ram sticks that you can easily get out by hundreds.
They aren’t DIMMs so basically no resale value. Only usable for data center servers.
There are Chinese back-alley workshops already lifting the NAND modules from them and installing them on standard DIMM modules.
Then they need to be freed as a whole to become data centers of the people, run by the people.
Probably ECC unfortunately
Unfortunately? The unregistered stuff works in most AMD boards. You can trade the GPUs for a car strait up. Or the whole blade for a house.
this was such an incredible skit. one for the ages
I don’t know how legit this is, but I heard that datacenters also where people store their catalytic converters when they change to electric vehicles.
Is that where the cat distribution system stores them before giving them to cars? It’s way too complicated for me to understand
Must be how they use so much water, too. Makes perfect sense.
(Seriously under the hood of a bolt the only interesting thing there that isn’t sealed in a metal box is three separate cooling fluids plus washer fluid. Just so much fluid.)
Shhh! They’re gonna find out that every server rack contains one T206 Honus Wagner card to function.
Anyone know how much ram is in one of those security dogs?
Enough to sell.
The staff wont stop you but if you arent familiar with how to isolate electrical equipment with more than one source of power you might get yourself killed.
Pull all cable? Redundant psu not that complicated just two psu.
Racks most people could probably manage but then you’re ignoring all the goodies in the cooling and electrical distribution equipment. Think ram is expensive? Try pricing the support equipment.
It’s a small step from “robotic guard dogs,” to “armed robotic guard dogs.”
https://fortune.com/2026/03/17/robot-dog-patrols-data-centers-ai-infrastructure-buildout/
My money is on the crackheads with facepaint and sledge hammers
crackheads with face
paintlemon juice
Seriously just gotta give the crackheads a slingshot, some rags and a bucket of paint and that dog is blind
Why paintball suddenly so popular with anarchist movement?
You know how much gold and platinum is in a robot attack dog? Free ammo too!
And teeth. They’re full of teeth
Teeth will be the currency of the apocalypse.
Sadly the one by me has a small army of armed guards…
Just because there’s a goalie doesn’t mean you can’t score!
Ever heard of a man trap?
Every data center I’ve been to uses them. Best part is if you don’t know what you’re looking at, you’d have no idea the foyer was constructed as a man trap.
Don’t need much security when you have a man trap.
The DCs where my stuff is stored? You’re not getting in. It’s just not happening.
That’s a real DC, not a cheap AI powerhouse.
Right?
I’m responsible for a bunch of systems in there - inclusibg specialized hardware - and I’m not allowed anywhere near it.
I’ve seen it once or twice, by special permissin only, and with an escort.
I’m not allowed anywhere near it.
I’ve seen it once or twice, by special permissin only, and with an escort.
Exactly this. We’re in places with concrete tank traps out front and retina scanners and guards behind the glass and all that craziness – but aside from the tank traps it’s all second-hand info from one of the 4 people I know - of thousands - who can actually go onsite and get in. If he doesn’t send the change request beforehand, and it’s all approved and whatnot, the guards will NOT enable the door. No tools in/out, no 3rd-party media out, etc.
Like, really, man, no one’s getting in. I guess that means I get downvotes; I dunno.
Isn’t that kind of assuming that people trying to get in would be following all security protocols?
Whoever thought of the meme probably doesn’t work in tech. A brand-new AI datacenter is not going to be left unguarded. Doubly so if there’s government data being stored or processed within it.
