He is an expert in slap-fighting, sit-down style. “Everybody was slap-sit fighting”.
Fat vampire
The OG gravey seal.
Every time you think this timeline can’t get any more nonsensical and inane, it throws a “Steven Seagal is a gun runner for Russia” curve ball at you.
So why isn’t he in the Trump cabinet?
Is he also a pedo?
His ego didn’t fit through the door.
Is that what he’s eating?
Russian pumpernickel parties with Tucker Carlson
The traitor and sack of shit should be on the frontlines.
Why can’t we (as in civil society) drone bomb steven seagal?
I’m gonna take you to the bank, Senator Trent. 😑 To the BLOOD BANK.
🤣
How has this rancid bratwurst not ended up in the Trump administration by this point?
He’s too busy attending Putin’s parades, which is something he literally does
Maybe he doesn’t like kids 🤷♀️
And give up his position in Putin’s administration? No way.
Eh, Putin’s in charge of both anyway, so there’s not much difference.
Why not both?
Hey I’m going you need you to be more respectful of bratwursts here.
My first aikido masters were former students of Sensei Fat. They refused to speak of it. He must have been a real piece of work, even then.
Imagine being such a shitty dictator that you have to hang out with the likes of 2020s Steve Seagal 😂
Do we know the status of Steven Seagal’s nuclear program?
I’ve heard he’s weeks away from having a nuclear bomb.
Seagal’s wikipedia page reads like he’s in the running for biggest shitbag actor award.
Have you seen him lately? He hasn’t run for anything in a long time. It’s actually funny if you watch his later movies, he’s mostly sitting down through the whole thing.
What the hell happened to him? Wasn’t he like a martial arts guy for real in the 80s?
That was 40 years ago
He was never as great a martial artist as he thought he was (just ask Gene LeBell), but he at least used to be… you know… mobile.
He got old. And soft. And round.
The last movie I saw with him was Under Siege after release. Left disappointed. Far more of a Jackie Chan/Tony Jaa kind of martial action films.
The best Steven Seagal movie I’ve ever seen, really the only good one, was Executive Decision.
Like other Steven Seagal movies, you see he’s in it, and you groan and think, “this is going to suck.” Then 20 minutes into the movie he’s killed off, and you can relax and enjoy the rest.
I liked Exit Wounds, in which he demonstrated that the fastest way to steal a car is by using a key fob.
In all fairness, that’s the only thing I remember about that movie and I’m pretty sure I’ve never seen anything else with him in it. Excluding Space Ice YouTube videos.
That one had a pretty good cast outside of Seagal himself. Same director also did Romeo Must Die and Cradle 2 the grave with some of the same cast, but no Seagal. Those are slightly better movied since… No Seagal lol
in which he demonstrated that the fastest way to steal a car is by using a key fob.
Space Ice is that you?
It’s not, but I did reference his videos in the next line!
Under Siege was only worth watching, just to see Erika Eleniak.
Yet boomers will clap and call it art
Seagal’s wikipedia page reads like he’s in the running for biggest shitbag actor award.
Emphasis added for clarity.
Hey man, he sometimes stands up in his latest movies.
SFX have gotten so good that you can barely hear the grunting.
Wouldn’t even have to use SFX to be convincing. Just dump a few hundred pounds of dog shit on a little trolley, put a stupid toupee on top, and wheel it around slowly on some rope. Nobody would tell the difference.
I’m trying to imagine this, but my mind keeps showing me Steven Seagal…
VFX at its limits
Walks fatly around corners, even
They really are good at painting out wire work in movies these days.
I hope that’s not the case. One example in this video someone posted the other day, he’s doing a sex scene sat down and fully clothed. He’s basically a marionette at this point.
I bet it’s ai
Seagal’s wikipedia page reads like he’s in the
running[slow shuffling walk] for biggest shitbag actor award.Corrected method of movement.
Seagal’s wikipedia page reads like he’s in the slow shuffling walk for biggest shitbag “actor” award.
Behind the bastards (podcast) had a good two part episode on him.
The bar is high, but he’s definitely in the running.
Why would Seagal need weapons?
To defend the VantaBlack he’s spraying on his head
He’s a massive Putin daddy’s boy. I’m guessing so he can give them to Russia
That has to be a wig… Right?
I don’t remember where I saw it because it was a while ago, but there’s at least one picture online that clearly shows that his “hair” (most of it at least, definitely that point on his forehead) is spray painted on. Poorly.
I think it’s Magneto’s helmet
