Currently sitting on my toilet trying to be quiet and this damn thing is making my ass sound like a brass only orchestra
You could shit into a open pit latrine or something.
I mean, there’s only so many ways to contain water and catch waste efficiently.
As a gardener, I’m a militant advocate of compost toilets. And usually they don’t make you sound like an big old diesel engine.
Entertainment
All hail the butt trumpets.
Especially before I knew I had gluten issues and was shitting 6+ times a day, I experienced a variety of materials across countries. Even toilets made entirely of plastic/polymers have basically the same issue. My second “real” rental in japand, and one of my in-laws, had those. Doesn’t really change much.
(The “real” above is because I lived in share houses a couple of times)
Because it’s beautiful.
You described it very poetic.
You have no idea the relative luxury you’re currently complaining about. Try a solid stainless steel prison toilet. They’re torturously cold to sit on in the winter, and also shorter with a higher water level.
If you don’t grab ahold of Mr. Winky before sitting down he’s going to be bobbing in the water you’re shitting into. Make sure you grab from the base of the balls, or they’re just going to plié down into that icy water too.
Like why even make them like that other than punishment. They dont need to be like that.
I get they’re prisoners and all, but have to hold your dick or it falls in the water seems like its above and beyond.
Stainless steel at least makes sense from a durability and safety perspective even if its always a chilly and uncomfortable experience.
Don’t forget the part where your cellmate is laying on his bunk 3 feet away with not a damn thing separating you.
Well, it’s not like it’s made of wood and have strings
I’m not shitting in Pinocchio
Do you think Pinocchio farts would sound more like a woodwind instead of a trombone?
Slide whistle
It’s Pinocchio, a lyre, perhaps a duet.
Look dad! I’m a real toilet!
That’s what she said
EDIT: I’ll see myself out. What the fuck is wrong with me. I have to go. I’m going. Sorry, everyone! I’m leaving.
New idea, combination toilet/egg slicer
It is to teach people to be proud and loud
Own it. I installed an amp and a reverb pedal in my toilet.
I got a whammy bar
Is that what the kids are calling it nowadays?
hell if i know, i don’t understand pokemons
Get a delay and a wah, homemade didgeridoo
Yes they’re made of pure trombonium.
factoid: Three modern toilet improvements were invented and patented in the late 1800s by Thomas Crapper, including the floating ballcock.
Floating ballcock, patented? I may be violating Mr. Crapper’s IP right now
(A rusty one?)
The simple answer is, porcelain is fairly durable, nonreactive and, well, smooth. You don’t want a material that’s prone to sticking in any way. The shape needs to be a certain way for the water to do away with… things, and not go everywhere.
That sucks when you have one of the THBPLTPLTBPHLTHLPTHPLTPPL ones in company, though.
Shit and piss, mostly, I don’t know what else you put into toilets
Ooh and sick and blood occasionally
Try that in a wood toilet.
Did you accidentally get the wrong post here? Or are we playing Jeopardy or something
You avoided saying “things”, I detailed what for you
It also needs to be cheaply mass producible. So making stuff from literal dirt is a pretty smart idea.
The thing that makes it echoy is what makes it easier to clean.
Rules to live by:
- Don’t be embarrassed by your body, nor the sounds and smells it makes. We are creatures of matter, not ethereal beings of light
- The toilet is a sacred place where social mores are relaxed. Just don’t talk to other people while you’re relieving yourself or getting your dick sucked
- Seriously, why are you on the phone in the bathroom? I’m trying to read in here!
- Wash your hands
- If you see someone leave a bathroom without washing their hands, and you see that person soon after with a group of people, it is your solemn doody to walk up to their companion, point at them with a fully extended arm, and say slightly louder than socially acceptable “THEY DIDN’T WASH THEIR HANDS”. Walk away with no other comment
- But courtesy flush
- But you’re allowed to communicate to the dick sucker. Communication is very important in sex
- But I’m also using my phone to read
- But use soap too
- But also slap their face before walking away
I did #5 (the embarrassing, not the slapping) to some high school kid in a mall a has been doing some work at. Dude used the original and walked right out. When i came out he was chatting up what looked like a classmate or friend. So I walked by them, close enough to say a quick aside to the girl, and walked on. Pointed directly at him and said “he didn’t wash his hands” and left to the sound of her laughing at him. Or me. Dunno. He wasn’t laughing tho
(I’m a middle-aged construction worker with a wedding ring and resting tired bastard face)
Here you go, a quiet toilet with built in tp holder. And its free.
I had to use stuff like that as a kid on holidays (youpee) and you’re lucky if you 1) don’t step in it (other people use it too with various success) 2) don’t shit on your legs 3) holds the balance, but it will invariably stink like hell and good luck torching your butt.
But if I take a shit in the forest and the bear hears it, do I get to meet the pope?
Thats what the stick is for. Best bet is to hit him in the papal tiara or zucchetto.
Or bring JD Vance with you every time you poop.
bring JD Vance with you every time you poop.
JD should get this instead of a prison sentence
No, but you do get to meet Saint Peter.
That’s advanced yoga to reach the toilet paper during business there.
I’d love this if winter wasn’t a thing 😭
Its even quieter in the winter. Fewer mosquitos too.
Fewer testicles too.
Since they are so small and fall right off from the cold. If you don’t rip them off when they are stuck to something.
If done correctly, the boys don’t touch anything. Tested at -25°C. I didn’t have a lemmy account back then so YMMV.
Naw. You just gotta poop quick.
The metal latrine seats are a bad idea in winter, though.
Midgits be pissed
Because porcelain, in the shape of a bowl, is incredibly good at staying relatively clean and being easy to clean when it eventually does get dirty. Those are the most important properties you want for something that you literally shit into.
Couldn’t enamled metal work just as well? It’s not like you shit into bare porcelain; it’s enamaled.
Enamel can get chipped and scratched, and if you don’t clean it regularly it will stain and disintegrate.
Source: rented places with enameled bathtubs and sinks.
You can get them clean again, but I think you basically have to scour them with pumice, which you can probably only do so many times.
Edit: Oh, you’re talking about enamel, I’m talking about porcelain.
They’re the same thing. Enamled in this case means there’s a porcelain coating.
It’s the smoothness of the surface that’s ultimately responsible for the acoustics. That’s why walls are typically textured to some degree.
Part of me thinks metal would.only transmit sound even better than porcelain.
Yeah, you can buy metal toilets. They have them in prisons and public restrooms, usually. I think people don’t buy them because they don’t like the look. I certainly wouldn’t want a metal toilet.
They said enamled metal, like a non-plastic bathtub. Basically metal with a porcelain coating.
Yeah, I understand. I don’t know if they’re enameled, but you can buy metal toilets.
Metal toilets would be much harder to keep clean than porcelain. The main reason porcelain is used is because the surface is extremely flat, on a microscopic level, and extremely hard so it resists scratching. Its also impervious to most cleaning agents.
You can get metal really smooth, but compared to porcelain it’s like sand paper up close. And most of the affordable stainless stuff is fairly easy to scratch.
It also usually self-cleans quite nicely through the flushing mechanism. Hence the noise, since it pushes water down the sides to clean it.
Tell that to the hard water in my town. I’ve tried everything short of a water softener (rental) and basically all it does is delay the rings from one week to about 2 1/2.
I’m surprised the water softener didn’t help more — is there a specific mineral that is extremely present in the water?
That I don’t know, other than we have a large aquifer under the county that serves basically just our county, that has a cap of clay over it. Supposedly we have some of the best tasting water in the country but it is very heavy.
But no, I said I haven’t gotten a water softener, because I live in a rental. But I’ve done the little hangy things, the blue pucks in the reservoir, even this damn device that works like a bidet for the toilet that shoots an amount of cleaner with every flush. Nothing works. A water softener likely would.
Edit: ok so it’s not a large aquifer. It’s actually very small now that I think of it lol
You might be able to get an inline softener for just the toilet. I know they make them for shower heads too.
Really?!? Thanks for the info. I’ll have to look it up. Thanks!
Also, vinegar is great at removing hard water stains, if you haven’t tried it.
Nah, that’s important for something you eat out of.
Something you shit into can be dirty. It doesn’t need to be clean to accept the next shit.
You don’t eat out of your toilet?
